What If?
by goladyvols
Summary: What if Olivia were to find happiness somewhere else in life? Definitely not E/O! Read and let me know if I need to continue!
1. Chapter 1

**WHAT IF**

Chapter 1

"Detective Benson," rang out through the precinct. "You have a visitor, told him to wait in interrogation 1.

"Thanks." Olivia walked slowly towards the room her mind racing, pondering all the different thoughts of who it could be. She hesitantly opened the door and was very shocked to see Dominic Pruitt sitting at the table. He had been a suspect months ago in the Jesse Crewes case that was very hard for her. "Hello Master Sergeant Pruitt."

"It's Dominic." He stared at her openly as if he were trying to memorize her face. "There's something very important I needed to speak with you about."

Olivia sat down and immediately went into cop mode. "What's wrong Dominic?"

"I am a U.S. Marine and I cannot do my job properly anymore." Olivia did not understand where this was going. "Has something happened Dominic?" She knew the concern had to be showing on her face. "Olivia you are what has happened!"

"Excuse me, what did I do?" Dominic looked at her, "I can't concentrate because I cannot get you off my mind!" Olivia's mouth fell open at his declaration; she was rendered speechless which usually did not happen. "I lay in bed at night and picture your face, and imagine smelling your perfume. I am totally useless to my men and I have to get this fixed."

Olivia still sitting speechless looked at him, her eyes widening, she was not sure how she should respond. Finally in an unsteady voice, "What can I do to help you?" He started to rise from his seat, "I'm so glad you asked."

He stopped in front of Olivia's chair, bending down to be on her level, and looked right into her eyes. "You have no idea how beautiful you are, do you?" He leaned towards her pulling the chair around so she was facing him. "I want to kiss you so bad, but I do not want to rush you." Olivia took the decision out of his hands and closed the gap between their mouths. "Damn you are so beautiful," he whispered right before his lips swallowed hers. The heat that flared was unbearable; Olivia moved her hands down his chest to his hands that were resting at his sides. She knew he wanted her to be OK with what was happening and she laced their fingers together. His tongue came out to meet hers and she could not help her reaction. Goose bumps spread all over her skin and her moan was uncontrollable. She brought his hand up to rest over her heart, and he responded by moving his hand down to cover her breast. Her full breast filled his palm, "Hmmm, I haven't felt this in a long time."

"What's that Olivia?" She barely could form the response he needed, "Desire." Dominic had to kiss her again, "God you taste so good, can we go somewhere a little more private?" Olivia thought about her answer, "Yes, let me walk out first and I will go down to the lobby and wait for you there." She looked at him hesitantly before turning and walking out. Dominic waited a few minutes, getting his hormones controlled, then finally got up to leave. A familiar voice rang out, "Master Sergeant Pruitt what brings you here?" Dominic came face to face with Detective Tutuola.

Olivia stood in the lobby debating whether to run or start pacing. She glanced at the elevators, as the double doors opened again, no Dominic. Did he change his mind? Who could blame him and he only knew a little of her baggage, God help him if he knew it all!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Fin stared at the man he had seen just a few months ago. Somehow he looked different when Olivia's gun wasn't pointed at the back of his head. "Hello Detective just came by to see Detective Benson." Fin stared at him for a few seconds, "Elliott you seen Liv?"

"No who's asking," Elliott said as he walked up to the man talking with Fin. Fin looked between the two men, each sizing up the other. "Elliott this is Master Sgt. Pruitt, US Marine Corp, he was a suspect a few months back in the Crewes case Liv and I worked together, this is Detective Stabler." Dominic held his hand out noticing the U.S.M.C. tattooed on Elliott's arm. Elliott didn't accept his handshake. "Why are you looking for Olivia?"

Dominic answered slowly, "I had something I needed to speak with her about and I figured this was the best place to look for her." "I'll come back another day", Dominic headed to the elevator just barely hearing Elliott's "Yeah you do that." He waited for the elevator to arrive and never looked back at the two detectives he knew were still staring his way. He knew she would be gone when he got to the lobby, and when the elevator doors opened and there she was sitting in the corner he wanted to jump up and down. He knew she did not see his approach; she was sitting with her head down. "Olivia," it came out as a whisper and she jerked her head up. He saw the tears swimming in her eyes and grabbed her. He did not care who saw him holding her; he just wanted her to know he was there.

"I thought you had changed your mind," Olivia said very sadly. Dominic tightened his arms, "Yeah well you have a group of protectors up there and I did not think they were letting me through." Olivia's slight chuckle caught him off guard,"Yeah when you're the only female in the unit the guys can be over-protective at times." Dominic wanted to keep holding her, she felt so good in his arms. Her fragrance was driving him wild, she smelled so good but he couldn't quite figure out what it was. Olivia lost track of time standing there in his arms, he made her feel safe and she liked that, no she needed that. Things were better in her life, her therapy was working out, the flashbacks weren't coming so frequently and she and Elliott had actually shared a laugh yesterday. Those things were great but right now the feeling this man gave her was so much better! She pulled away first, looking up at him, he was only a few inches taller than she was, but he still made her feel small and feminine. She couldn't hold his stare any longer and glanced away towards the elevators. Her eyes connected with her partner of ten years and his glare went straight through her. Tensing immediately she pulled away from Dominic and watched as Elliott stormed out of the 1-6.

"Dominic I should not have let this start here, I do want to see you, let's meet somewhere tonight." His face could not mask his excitement, "OK, where would you like to meet?"

Olivia thought about her response, "How about we meet at the new club on Broadway Street, it's called Club Voodoo." "Do you dance Dominic?" He smiled at her and replied, "Not really but as long as I can look at you I will be OK." Olivia felt the blush rise on her face, "So it's a date, tonight at 7." She did not even realize she had been clinging to his hand until he turned to walk away.

Olivia walked back into the squad room and immediately heard Cragen yelling for her to find Elliott. "Where is he Cap'n?"

"I thought he was looking for you. You two need to get down to Third and Canal, there's been an attack." She barely heard his last statement; she was all ready headed out the door. She found Elliott standing outside beside the sedan. He climbed in the car without speaking and she knew this was going to be a long day. The ride to their location was filled with silence and Olivia could not wait to get out of the car. She lunged out as soon as Elliott hit the brakes. She immediately pulled her badge, showing it to the crowd. Another officer came forward. "Olivia Benson, SVU, this is my partner Elliott Stabler, what happened here."

The officer was staring at Olivia as if she had two heads. "It seems there's been a mistake here, these two are making an amateur film and someone called it in." At that moment Elliott decided to let the crowd know how displeased he was, "Don't waste our time with this kind of crap!" Olivia cut her eyes towards him, noticing his jaw tighten as he slammed the car door. Olivia looked at the young officer, "Try to catch us before we drive across town next time!" She gave him a smile as she climbed back in the car.

"OK, Elliott I know you saw me and Pruitt in the lobby but what's the problem?" Elliott stared back at Olivia wondering what was going on with them, "Since when do you date perps?" Olivia was getting angry and let him know it, "Look Elliott who I date or don't date is none of your damn business, and you have no right to judge me. You are a married man jealous of his single partner going out on a date." Elliott pulled the car over, put it in park, and stared at her. "Liv, what's going on with us?"

"Elliott things have been different for a while now, I have dealt with things all alone because you have been so distant. The case I worked with Fin, I had a flashback from Sealview and put my gun to the back of Pruitt's skull and if Fin had not been there I have no idea what would have happened. You knew something had happened but yet you never came to me and asked. I know you have your own life full of kids, a wife and everything else so please let me have my own! We are struggling with our friendship but I cannot beg for your help any longer!" He never opened his mouth; he just put the car in drive and started towards the precinct. Once they got back Olivia cleared her desk and asked the Captain if she could head out early. She left without speaking to Elliott and decided to walk home instead of catching a cab. She thought about what happened in the car and remembered the look Elliott had on his face, how hurt he was. She had said what she needed to say, and was it her fault that Elliott always acted like an ass when there was someone in her life?

Olivia decided to put today's events out of her head and thought about Dominic. Walking up her front stoop she made her mind up to relax in a hot bath. She grabbed the mail out of her box and looked through it walking up the stairs. Unlocking her front door she walked straight to the bathroom. She started the water, and walked into her bedroom as the tub started to fill. She thought about what to wear and had her mind made up before she even opened the closet doors. She picked out her favorite red halter dress and smiled to herself knowing Dominic would love this dress!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Olivia arrived at the club at 6:55 and immediately spotted Dominic. She took her time walking towards him. Slowly taking his appearance in, he was so handsome. In a uniform he looked great, but in gray slacks and a blue button up shirt he looked amazing! "Hi," Olivia spoke first. He stood before her speechless just staring and finally formed a response, "My God you look beautiful." Olivia blushed at his statement, "Thanks you look great too!" Dominic smiled at her saying, "I have a table all ready reserved, and this place is great." Olivia knew the place was great. Three levels with the bar on the first floor, the restaurant on the second floor, and the whole top floor was the dance floor. "Yeah it's a lot of fun, with anything you would like to do right here in the same building!" Dominic led her to their table, she noticed the stares directed at them and smiled. He pulled out her chair and leaned down to kiss her cheek.

They ordered drinks and their entrees. Olivia was on her third glass of Chardonnay when their food arrived. She felt great, the wine was going to her head, and Dominic was so easy to talk to. They finished their meals and asked the waiter to bring one more drink. Dominic asked, "You ready to show me those moves?" Olivia stood up and made her way to the elevator that would take them to the third floor dance area. The elevator came to a stop and the music greeted them as the doors opened. Dominic walked behind Olivia, guiding her through the crowd. He studied her form as they walked; she was the most beautiful woman in the room-by far. He could tell she was feeling the music as she swayed her hips to the song, he could not help his mouth from watering. She pulled him out on the dance floor and immediately started to dance. She turned around where her back was pressed against his front and he took matters into his own hands.

They both still had their drinks in one hand, but he hooked his free hand around her front. His palm rested on her stomach and she gyrated her hips against him. "Let's get rid of these drinks," he whispered into her ear. Olivia handed her drink to him and he carried them over to an empty table. She kept dancing and did not even realize he was back until he was pressed up against her from behind. He wrapped both his arms around her, whispering in her ear, "You make me crazy Olivia!" She turned her face towards his words and he captured her mouth. She opened her mouth to accept his tongue and the kiss escalated quickly. He could not stop his hands from moving up to cup her breasts. The dance floor was packed and that made Olivia feel free, if anybody was looking and saw them she did not care. She moaned into his mouth as he palmed her breasts.

She spun around and walked him backwards into a dark corner. "Dominic I do not normally do things like this, but if I cannot feel your hands on me I think I will explode." He turned them so she was pressed into the corner. His mouth swooped down on hers, but she was waiting, her tongue meeting his. She guided his hand back to her breast and he moved his other hand under her dress. "Damn Olivia, no panties, are you trying to kill me!"

"This dress is a little revealing in the back so I had to leave them off so there would be no lines!" She sucked in her breath as he grabbed her ass and pulled her against him. His erection felt huge and she could not help herself from moving against him. She was so close to an orgasm it shocked her. He kissed her neck and slid down the front of her dress. He opened his mouth over her breast, taking it in his mouth dress and all. Her head fell back against the wall and all she could do was grab his hair with both hands.

"Olivia can you see anyone looking at us?" Her only response was a quick shake of her head. "What if I pull down your dress and show those beautiful breasts, will you let me?" She felt him untie the dress and the cool air touched her skin. She could only gasp as she stood there waiting for what he would do next. She was exposed from the neck down and did not care at all. He took her naked breast in his mouth and she lost it. She grabbed his hand and shoved it under her dress. He cupped his hand over her and waited. She began to move and he could feel her wetness. He left her breast and moved back up to her mouth. At the same time two fingers moved inside her. Olivia began to tremble and he stopped kissing her so he could watch her beautiful face. She pushed her hips against his hand and he began to move faster. He could smell her and it was driving him crazy. Olivia arched her neck and he covered her mouth with his, she screamed her release and shuddered over and over.

He pulled his hand free from her body and as she watched he brought his fingers up to his mouth. Something flared inside her and she grabbed his face kissing him fiercely. She could taste herself on his mouth and surprisingly she did not mind. As a matter of fact she had never been so turned on in her life!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Olivia could not believe what had just happened, especially in a packed club, where anyone could have seen them. She had just had an out-of-body experience and boy was it great! Dominic could see the shock on her face and he hoped she would not turn and run. "Hey Olivia it's OK, what just happened was great and I truly hope you do not regret it!"

"How could I regret the best thing that has happened to me in three years?" He could not help but wonder why a woman this beautiful could have any problems finding a man. What was this world coming to when someone that looked like Olivia could not get a date? She was not only beautiful, but she was filled with passion. He had never expected that kind of response from her. He could tell she was a very passionate woman, but to come apart like she did was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen! "Dominic I have a very hectic life and my job does not allow for much free time. When my dates find out what I do for a living they're either repulsed or way too interested. I have found it easier to just not date and keep to myself. You can avoid so much that way."

"It doesn't have anything to do with your partner?" Olivia was not sure how to answer that question. Dominic studied her face and waited for her response.

"Dominic what do you mean? Elliott is married with five children; I think he has enough on his plate without adding me to it! If you are asking if I have ever been involved with my partner then the answer is definitely NO!"

"I did not mean to upset you, I just saw the protectiveness he had for you this morning in the precinct." I know what it's like to be close to a woman and never have romantic feelings for them, but I also saw something in your partner's face that looked a lot like jealousy. I know it probably happens a lot when you work together so closely and see each other more than your own spouse. It's that way in the military too, so many soldiers are having affairs, but when you are put into those circumstances sometimes you need an outlet."

"Dominic I thought at one time that I had feelings for Elliott, but I could never betray his marriage. He split up with Kathy about three years ago and I even hoped he would ask me out on a date. That never happened and he ended up getting back with Kathy and they have their fifth child now. Some things are just not meant to be. We are friends and I will always trust him as my partner, but there will never be anything between us."

"I'm Sorry Olivia, I did not mean to upset you. I can tell this is a very sensitive subject for you and I will not bring it up again. I just want to make sure you are free and clear because like I said I cannot get you out of my mind and now I won't be able to get you out of my system."

"Dominic it's OK, I do not mind you asking me that. Elliott and I have been part of the rumor mill for years. Everyone assumes because you have a man and woman teamed up that they have to be sleeping together. I have never understood it, but it's been going on for years now. I would never sleep around with a married man; I have more respect for marriage than to do something like that. I used to take it to heart that everyone thought I was just some kind of slut that sleeps with her married partner, but I eventually learned to ignore all the talk. I guess I will be getting talked about again, I will be called a COUGAR, for dating a man younger than me!"

"Olivia does it really bother you that I am younger? I am thirty five years old not some young boy off the street, if you add the extra stuff to my age we are about the same age."

Olivia should have been wounded by his remark, but instead she could not hold back her laugh. "Dominic I am forty four years old and if someone added all the baggage I have to my age I would all ready be in the ground! I want you to know that I am in therapy and I am working hard to get better. It will be a long uphill battle, but I am working on it. I just want to be honest with you from the beginning. I have a lot of baggage that started when I was born and kept piling up over the years, you have the right to know what you are getting involved in."

Dominic stared at her and could not help but thinking this woman was a warrior. She had been through a lot and the things she had probably seen were life changing, most people could not do the job that she has for the last ten years. All that combined made him admire her even more. "I am on leave right now and I want to spend as much of my time with you as I can. I really hope you feel the same way. Olivia I do not care if you are older than me or that you have so much baggage you cannot carry it all. I want to help you in any way that I can. I want to give us a chance for something great, and I really think you do too!"

Olivia had not heard such sincerity from a man in years, and she so wanted to believe it! She wanted to feel like she had someone and could trust him no matter what. She had never been able to say that. She had been alone all her life, and her family was the 1-6. It took a lot for him to stand here in front of her and say what he did. She did want a chance with Dominic. He was so sincere and she could tell he meant what he had told her. "OK Dominic I would love to spend as much time with you as possible!"

Dominic was so happy to hear her response; he hardly even realized he was holding his breath. "Olivia I realize after what just happened it sounds ridiculous to say let's take it slow, but I want you to know that I mean that. We do things the way you want to. We can take it fast or slow; the decision is yours. I just want to be with you!"

Those seven words made her feel so special and that was a feeling she had not felt in a very long time!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

As Dominic and Olivia walked to the elevators, they both wore smiles. Dominic was so excited, he felt like a kid on Christmas morning ready to open presents. He glanced out of the corner of his eye at the beautiful woman walking beside him. What a night this had turned out to be, he was ready for their next date. "So when can I pick you up tomorrow?"

Olivia walked onto the elevator and waited for the double doors to close. She turned around and they were face to face, she could not help her response, she practically attacked him. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him with the passion that had been bottled up for years. The best part was Dominic let her. He let her take the lead and it felt great. She knew she should slow down and take her time, but this man brought out such passion inside her she wanted him to know. The elevator arrived on the first floor and they barely separated before the doors opened. Olivia stared up into his handsome face and Dominic put his arm around her to lead her out of the elevator. She felt his posture stiffen and turned her gaze away from his face to see what he was looking at. There stood Elliott with his oldest daughter Maureen.

Holy Shit, she thought, does he have radar on me? This is twice in the same day that he sees her with this man. She was so relieved when Maureen broke the silence. "Olivia it's so good to see you!" Maureen came forward to hug Olivia and Olivia could not make herself look at Elliott. She accepted the hug and pulled back asking, "How have you been honey? I haven't seen you in a few months. Has everything been going OK?"

This moment was so uncomfortable, because as the two women talked that left Dominic and Elliott staring at each other. Maureen leaned closer so she could whisper to Olivia, "Who's the hottie?"

Olivia stared at Maureen and could only move her mouth. At the moment, nothing would come out. She must look ridiculous, standing here not being able to speak. Finally she could muster a response, "Maureen this is a friend of mine, Dominic, this is Elliott's oldest daughter Maureen." The man and woman shook hands and exchanged pleasantries. "Nice to meet you" they both said. Olivia, standing like a statue, tried her best to not look Elliott's way.

"Dad you never told me Olivia was seeing someone, especially someone this HOT." Maureen looked between her father and Olivia, wondering why neither one wanted to look at the other. Dominic was the first one to speak, "Well I just got back into town after my tour in Iraq. Your father just found out today about me and Olivia."

Olivia was so thankful Dominic had spoken. She and Elliott probably would have stood here all night looking down at the floor, but thank goodness he had taken things into his own hands. "It was very nice to meet you Maureen, and nice to see you again Detective Stabler. Olivia and I are headed back to her apartment. I hope you enjoy your evening." Olivia gave Maureen a hug still avoiding Elliott's glare. Dominic led them to the exit and quietly waited for Olivia to speak.

"My God, what the hell was wrong with me? I felt like a young schoolgirl caught sneaking out. I am so sorry, Dominic, for putting you in that position. I have no idea what came over me!"

"Olivia please tell me why you can't trust men. Well most men, except for your partner." Dominic stood patiently waiting for Olivia to respond, he needed to know why she had these trust issues.

Olivia felt a knot in her stomach. She really wanted to tell Dominic about her past, but of course she did not want it to change things between them. "Let's get a cab and I will tell you more when we get back to my apartment. I do not think the busy sidewalk is the place to have this discussion."

Dominic hailed a cab and quickly helped her into the car. He could feel the tension in the car and he wanted to reassure her that no matter what she told him it would not change his mind. Instead he just sat silently. He reached for her hand and thankfully she gave it to him. The short ride to her apartment was very quiet, except for the music the cabbie had playing on the radio. Dominic looked over and she had her eyes closed with her head lying back on the seat. He could not rush her. He saw the hurt on her face and knew that whatever she was fixing to tell him was not going to be easy for her.

My God can I tell him all this so soon? The questions were running around in her head. How do you make easy conversation about all the events of your life? Most people have happy childhood memories to share, going on trips with your family and just spending time together. Who has to start their life story by saying I'm the product of a rape? Olivia Benson does. Unfortunately the sadness does not end there it only gets better. The sleepless nights. Having to wait up on your drunken mother. The emotional abuse so much more than any child should have to grow up in. It seemed like something out of a bad movie but for Olivia it was true-life experience. This was going to be so hard, could she do this.

Dominic picked that moment to speak, "Olivia I know this is something very difficult for you, but I want you to trust me. I know that is so easy for me to say, you've all ready told me that one time. Do you remember? You told me "Easy to Say and Hard to do" at the precinct. I want it to be easy for you this time. You are so special and I really don't think you even realize it. The way you care for others above you or your needs that's really saying something, Olivia. I want you to have that feeling with me. I care about you and I want you to believe that and trust me."

Olivia felt the tears gather in her eyes. It had been so long since someone had shown her compassion and understanding, other than her shrink but she was trained to do that. It felt good to look at his face and see the sincerity. She always tried to be that way with victims but when it came to helping herself it was a totally different story.

The cab came to a stop at her apartment building. After handing the cabbie some bills Dominic waited for Olivia to open the door and step out. He followed her out of the car and stood beside her. "Dominic I want to open up and tell you these things, but it scares me to death. I have never told someone about all the things that make it hard for me to sleep at night, and it is so scary to even think back on it, much less spilling my guts to you about it. It's not that I don't trust you; it's the fact that what I tell you can change the way you look at me. And I don't know if I can handle that or not!"

Dominic weighed his words carefully, "Olivia, you are worried for no reason. I will not look at your past and judge you. What I am interested in is you, in the present; nothing you tell me can change my mind. If you want to confide in me, that's great, and I will help you however I can. Just know I am here for you and I want to help you!"

Olivia took his hand as they walked up the steps to her building, "OK, Dominic, let's go talk."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Dominic watched Olivia as she opened the door to her apartment. He could tell she was very nervous; her hands had a slight shake to them. He wanted to reassure her again, but instead he just followed her into the nice apartment. He looked around at her domain, and he saw her in everything. The colors were rich and soft, yet feminine. There were no pictures that he could see, except for a picture of her fellow officers. The whole left wall was lined with books. As she went to open the refrigerator he walked over to her bookshelves and studied some of the titles.

"Dominic would you like something to drink?" She noticed him eyeing her collection of books. "My mother was an English Professor, so I truly love to read."

"Just some water will be fine." Smiling he ran his finger down the spine of Jane Eyre saying, "Man I sure did hate reading this book in high school. That's why they invented Cliff's Notes. I had a buddy in high school that we took turns reading the notes, we both passed the final on it."

Olivia laughed and she knew that he was trying his best to lighten the mood. "That's one of my favorites Dominic, how could you wound me like that?" She walked over to where he was sitting on the couch and hesitantly sat down beside him. "I do love to read, it takes away some of the real life crap that we wish we could forget about. It's like a whole different world when you read a book, well a good book." Olivia knew she was rambling and willed herself to be quiet about reading books and get down to the real reason they were up here. She tried to speak but nothing came out. Dominic reached over and took her hand. "Olivia just take a deep breath and jump, I'm not going anywhere."

Olivia knew he meant those words and she was very grateful. That is what gave her the strength to just open her mouth and start talking. "Dominic my mother was raped in 1965, she reported it, but they never found the man who did it. She struggled the rest of her life with this, and having a reminder everyday did not help. I was that reminder. I am the product of my mother's rape."

Those last words hung in the air as Olivia waited for Dominic to say something. She held her breath, and just sat there. She wished he would say something. She wondered if she needed to continue or just wait to see what he said. The seconds that passed seemed like a lifetime. "Dominic, I grew up in a house that there wasn't much love shown. My mother was an alcoholic. I cannot remember many times that she did not have some sort of drink in her hand. She told me at an early age where I came from and tried to tell me that she loved me anyway. I never had a chance to be a kid because I was always cleaning up her messes. She left me home alone so often that I thought that was the normal thing for a parent to do. I found out the hard way when I had a friend stay over and mom went out to drink and left us alone. My friend freaked out because we were there all by ourselves, so she called her mom to come get her and I just could not understand why it bothered her so much. I was just used to it. I never got to have another friend over again. Mom was so pissed at me she threatened me with a bottle. I was so relieved when she passed out on the couch about an hour later."

Dominic could not take much more before he had to speak, "Olivia I am so sorry. You were not given a fair chance from the time you were a child until now. How any mother could put her child through that is beyond me. I can only imagine what that must have been like for a scared little girl. Did your mom tell you she wanted to abort you? Did you have any friends in school that you could confide in? Or did you just have to keep all this bottled up inside? My God, Olivia you do know that none of that was your fault. Right?"

Olivia could no longer hold the tears back. Her life seemed like it had always been an uphill battle. From the time she was a small girl she knew deep down that something had been wrong with her mother.

Dominic saw a box of Kleenex sitting on the kitchen counter and walked over to grab two out of the box. Walking back over to her, he saw she was crying very hard. He knew she probably needed this cry. This strong woman never opened her soul up and just let it out. That was never a good thing, because once it started it was hard to get it to stop. He sat down beside her and gathered her in his arms. She felt so small and fragile huddled against him. He wanted to just sit and hold her forever. He knew she had to be strong for her job, but what about the rest of her life. She was trying to get help in her therapy sessions, but that was clinical, not personal. She needed to have someone hold her and tell her everything was going to be OK. He wanted to be that man.

Olivia wanted to stay in his arms forever, but she also wanted to keep going. "I think my mother had to deal with the situation the best she could. Although she definitely did not pick the best ways, she really did try. She did tell me that she wanted an abortion, but back then things were so different. I have carried that burden around for a long time and I used to hate my mother for the things that she did and said, but now I just don't know. I did have friends in school; I really tried to stay by myself most of the time though. I knew that it would be easier for me to avoid more hurt and ridicule that way. For the most part I never told anyone about my mother or myself. I used to tell anyone that asked about my father that he was dead. It was just so much easier that way."

Dominic could only stare at her. He knew these scars ran so deep inside her that they were a part of her. She had never had a chance to be a normal child and that made him feel so sad. "Olivia you are such an amazing woman. You have tried to turn your life around and do something good for anyone who has ever found himself or herself in a bad situation like your mom. That is such a wonderful thing. I could not sit here and defend the woman who had made my life a living hell like your mom did yours, but you do. You try to find the good in everything and everyone and that is so commendable. Especially with everything you have gone through."

Olivia started shaking her head. "Dominic please don't start giving me all that credit just yet. It took me a long time to get where I am. I looked at my mom and I was disgusted with what she was and the things she did. I was so embarrassed most of the time that I just stayed at home. I couldn't take the ridicule from everyone else that I took at home. At most times I just wanted my mother dead. She wanted that too or why else would she drink herself into a stupor most nights. That takes a toll on such a young person. That's why I became a cop. I have always wanted to help people. I knew that was my calling from the time I was very young. Once I graduated the academy I decided to come to the Special Victims Unit. My mother hated the thoughts of it, and of course that made me want to do it even more. I tried to be so different from her, but last year I almost ended up just like her."

"Olivia where is your mother now?"

"She's dead. She was drunk and fell down a flight of stairs. She was leaving one bar, going to another, and fell. She was so drunk she could not even walk. How terrible is it that I was so relieved when it happened? I don't even know that I took the time to mourn for her. I finally feel some closure after almost eight years. Since my attack, last year, I can understand a little more of why my mother was the way she was. Some nights I would like nothing more than to drown myself in a bottle of scotch or brandy just to make the pain go away. I choose not to. My mother did not make the right choice and she paid for it."

"Olivia you paid for it too. You paid more than she did. She knew what she was doing. She knew that it was wrong, but she did it anyway. She took herself away from you your whole life. What kind of mother does that to her only child?"

Olivia knew what he was saying was the truth. It had taken her such a long time to come to terms with the things her mother had put her through, and it only took this man ten minutes.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Dominic I know what you are saying is so true, or at least I do now. Coming to terms with my past has been a long hard road, but I feel like I am finally getting to where I need to be. Well with my childhood I am. I will always have scars from my childhood, but now I feel like I can close that chapter of my life. It's the recent events in my life that are haunting me every night."

"Tell me, Olivia. You are being so brave, putting your feelings out on the line. That takes a lot of guts, and I am honored that you trust me enough to open up and share these feelings with me."

"I feel at ease with you Dominic. I have never opened up with anyone this way, and I don't want to stop. I want to just tell you everything. You have the right to know what all I have going on in my head. If you want me to continue I will."

Dominic sat staring at her and finally said, "Yes, please continue. I want you to tell me everything about yourself. The good. The bad. The ugly. Anything you tell me will not change my mind about you. It will just make me admire you even more."

Olivia thought about what she needed to say next. Taking a deep breath she began, "Over two years ago I found out I had a brother. I found him and went to him. He was the suspect in a rape case in New Jersey. I gave him money to run. We tried to establish a relationship, but it kind of put a damper on things when we realized the only thing we had in common was the man who raped my mother. I haven't talked to Simon in months."

"Olivia if you want to have a relationship with your brother that is up to you and Simon. It is no one else's business. I personally think it would do you a lot of good to have your brother in your life. Think about it and give it a chance."

Olivia just nodded her head. "I will give it some thought. I have to keep going before I lose my nerve. I was in an auto accident with Elliott's wife Kathy. A drunk driver ran into us and they had to cut Kathy out of the car. She went into labor and I had to help deliver Eli. I resented this woman at one time and there I was delivering her child in the back of an ambulance. I felt so guilty about the whole situation. I thought Elliott would hate me and blame me but thank goodness it didn't turn out that way! Eli is such a sweet little child, and he made me realize how much I wanted to have a child. I am forty four with no husband or no child and that has hit me like a ton of bricks."

"There's still time Olivia. You are not some old lady with one foot all ready in the grave. You are young enough to have a child and to plan the life you have always wanted. Don't give up on your dreams. It's not too late."

Olivia admired that he could be so positive about everything. She wondered about his life and his past. What kind of family did he come from?

"Hey, I see your wheels turning. We can talk about me next time. I came from a good family, and I am still close to my parents. My dad was a Marine also so he, of course, was very proud when I made the decision to join the Corp. Like I said we can talk about that next time. Go ahead."

"Well on top of delivering my partner's child. We had a case where frozen embryos were stolen from a fertility clinic and we didn't get the eggs back in time. It all turned out to be a publicity stunt, but these women suffered from this loss. I put myself in their shoes and I know why it was so traumatic for them. There was one lady, Eva, she had cancer and froze her eggs to have after her treatments. The radiation caused her to not produce any more eggs and the only chance at becoming a mother was stolen from her. That case was really hard. It made me take a look at my life and see that I needed to do something before it was too late. I later told Elliott that I looked into adoption and they turned me down."

"Wait a minute what do you mean they turned you down? You would make a terrific mother."

"Well Child Services did not see it that way. They told me I was too high risk. The job, the hours, to them I was more a liability than prime parenting material. I can see their point. I have no family to fall back on. It's just me. I will become a mother one day, I know. However it may, I know it will happen one day. Last year we also worked a case with the FBI. Agent Lauren Cooper was teamed up with us looking for the Woodsman. He had abducted and murdered twenty-three women. The case was very complicated and it turned out to be more than Agent Cooper could handle and she committed suicide right in front of Lake and me. That was very traumatic, to see someone take their own life right in front of you. There was nothing we could do to help her. It was awful. I have never been put in that position and I hope I never am again. I imagine you have seen that before haven't you?"

"I have unfortunately, and like you said it's something you never want to see again. That was a very hard year for you, but I know you haven't finished have you. How long after that was your attack?"

"It was a month after the Cooper case. We had a girl that was attacked by a cop. Her mom was in prison for drug trafficking and after the attack we got her to open up. She told us one of the officers at the prison was raping the inmates. After begging the Captain to let me go undercover I went under. The whole thing was set up to be real. I had a court appearance to be sentenced to Sealview; no one knew I was a cop. I went through the whole process. Strip-searched. Body- cavity searched. Everything that a normal convict would go through, I did too. There was an officer there that felt me up while searching me. Any horror story you hear about prison, that's what happened here. The Captain sent Fin under posing as a guard. He tried to watch my back but he couldn't be everywhere at one time. We had a lockdown and the guard blamed the riot on me so the Captain said I had to be punished. He had me in cuffs and I knew something was not right. I have never felt so helpless in my life. We got down to the basement and I saw the mattress in the corner. I felt so sick because I knew what was coming. I told myself I would not go down without a fight."

"Olivia why did you not out yourself as a cop? Why did you not tell him, honey?"

"I wanted to, but then I thought about all the other women he had all ready done this to and I froze. I fought back but soon I realized I could not overpower him. He was so strong and he punched me a few times. I tried to do the things that we all were taught in self-defense class but he was just too strong. He forced me to the door where he cuffed me to the bars. He called me a bitch and told me if I bit him he would kill me. He had his pants down and his penis in my face when Fin came running in. If he had not gotten there when he did my life would be over. He has all ready stolen so much from me and he did not even rape me."

"Olivia the trauma of being attacked is life changing. It does not matter that he did not rape you. You still went through a horrific event. He rendered you helpless and for someone as strong as you are, that takes a lot out of you. My God Olivia, you have been through so much and yet here you are fighting to get through. You could have folded like Agent Cooper did, but you didn't. You are being brave enough to sit here and tell me all about it. That is saying a lot. So what happened to the bastard?"

"He is in prison now. They arrested him because Amber remembered the mole on his penis. I saw it too and we helped send him to prison for a long time. I am getting to where I can close my eyes now and not see his face. It has been a long road but I finally feel like I can live again."

Dominic put his arms around her, "You can live again Olivia, and I want you to do it with me. Olivia, will you marry me?"


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Olivia sat on the couch wondering if what she just heard was real. She pulled away from Dominic so she could look into his face. Judging from the expectant look on his face he really did just ask her to marry him. "Dominic are you out of your mind? We hardly know each other."

"What else is there to know Olivia? You are an amazing woman and it would be my honor to have you as my wife. I want to have a life with you Olivia. I want us to have babies together. Grow old together. I can't imagine not being able to see your beautiful face everyday for the rest of my life."

Holy shit, this was surreal. Her heart was beating so fast and hard it felt like it was coming out of her chest. "Dominic I am not saying No, I just want to give this some time. You are a great man, I know. I just need some time to take this all in. I heard those words once before but I was a child trying to get away from my mother. Just be patient with me and give me some space to think. I really think we could have something special I just don't want to rush it."

Dominic was silent and Olivia did not want this reaction. She looked up to see him staring at her; he had tears in his eyes. She reached out and took him in her arms. He smelled so good, like a strong man should. She pressed her lips to his neck, and he shivered. "Dominic just give it some time. I want this more than anything. We could be good for each other. I just have to be sure, things have been so scary in my life lately, and I want stability. I think you can help me with that. You have all ready helped me more than you know, just by listening."

Dominic knew what she was saying was true. She had been through so much over the last three years. She needed some space and he would definitely give it to her. "Olivia I want this to work so we can take it as slow as you need to. I never wait to say what's on my mind and I wanted to say that to you. Sometimes it's a bad thing, but this time it just felt right to say it. I surely didn't say it to scare you or make you feel overwhelmed. I have never wanted anything so bad in my life!"

Olivia snuggled in closer to Dominic. He made her feel so safe. She wanted to stay like this forever. She pressed her lips to his neck again, and he groaned. The close contact was affecting her also. She opened her mouth to run her tongue along his skin. He immediately tightened his arms around her and let her do as she wished. She ran her tongue up to his ear and nipped his earlobe with her teeth. That got the reaction she was looking for. He brought both hands up to grab her hair and kissed her fiercely.

Olivia knew she had never been kissed like this in her life. He parted her lips with his tongue and pulled at her bottom lip with his teeth. She wanted Dominic and she did not want to wait. She took control of the kiss and pushed him back on the couch. Dominic chuckled and helped her straddle him. This could get way out of control and fast. He didn't want to stop quite yet, though. He gave into Olivia and let her dictate. She held him so tight he almost couldn't breathe.

"Olivia wait a second, let's slow it down a minute. I am not going anywhere."

"Dominic, I feel like I have done enough talking for one night. I want to do something else with my mouth." She had no sooner got those words out before Dominic pulled her mouth down to his. He sat up with her straddling him and never broke contact with her mouth. He stood up and helped her wrap her long legs around his hips.

"Dominic put me down. I am way too heavy for you to carry."

He moved his hands down to cup her butt and she didn't care anymore if she was too heavy. "The bedroom is the first door on the right." But Dominic had other plans. He walked to the hallway and stopped to push her against the wall.

"Olivia do you have any idea how much I want you?" He never gave her the chance to respond before his mouth was back on hers. He ran his mouth down the side of her neck and licked her hot skin. "Damn you smell so good. I'm about to explode. Are you sure about this, babe? I want to make love to you but I want you to be sure."

"No Dominic."

This could not be good. He pulled back to look at her and held his breath.

"I want you to fuck me." She said the words like it was nothing and it turned him on. This woman was such a wonderful surprise. He forcefully took her mouth and shoved his tongue inside.

"If that's what you want Olivia then that's what you'll get." The fact she was not wearing any panties made it so easy for him. He let her slide down the front of his body pulling her dress up as she went. No sooner than her feet were on the floor he spun her around to face the wall. The dress did not want to cooperate so he untied it at the top and waited for it to pool around her ankles. "My God you take my breath away." Dominic was still fully clothed and that excited Olivia. To be standing here naked in her hallway with a beautiful man pressed up against her. damn she was hot.

Dominic bent down behind her and put each hand on her ankles. She moved her legs apart and heard him groan. His lips began a path behind her knee and did not stop until he was standing, once again, with his lips pressed to the back of her neck. He reached around to the front and cupped her breasts. "Do you know your breasts kept me awake at night? I wanted to feel them, to hold them in my hands and to taste them. This is so much better than I dreamed it would be. You are so damn beautiful, all of you."

"Dominic please."

"Please what Olivia? I can smell your excitement and I am so ready to feel you wrapped around me." She heard his zipper coming down. "I feel like a horny teenager ready for his first time." He squeezed her breast tighter with his free hand and licked the side of her neck. Olivia turned her mouth to capture his. She whimpered as he held one breast and moved the other hand down between her thighs. "Do you want to taste what I do?" He pushed one finger inside of her and brought it up to her lips.

Olivia should be repulsed, but she was so turned on she couldn't help her response. She let him glide his finger along her bottom lip and she opened her mouth. The taste of herself was very different but she enjoyed it, especially when Dominic pushed his hips against her and swore. "I've got to have you now Olivia I can't wait!"

He finished pulling his pants and underwear down and was inside her before she could take a deep breath. The sensation of being filled was too much for her and her orgasm was instantaneous. She screamed her release and Dominic loved it. His tempo became faster and he grabbed her hair and pulled. His other hand grabbed her breast. Olivia had not felt these kinds of sensations, well never. She pushed her hips back against his and he lost it. If the wall had not been holding her up she would be in a puddle on the floor. Dominic could not hold his release back any longer and shouted her name. The two stood speechless. Dominic enjoyed holding her against him and pressed his lips to her neck. He smiled to himself until he heard her say.

"Shit, we didn't use any protection."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

The mood had changed dramatically. Dominic had never forgotten to use protection, even when he was a horny teenager. This was not good. "Olivia I am so sorry, I have never done that before. I am clean if that's what you are worried about. We have to be tested constantly in the Corp and I just had my blood tested less than a month ago. Everything came back negative."

Olivia had no idea what to say. Instead she bent over and pulled her dress back into place, hiding her naked body from him. The lump in her throat was making it hard to breathe. She brushed by him quickly and headed for the kitchen. "Dominic I am so upset right now. I have never had sex without protection. I don't want you thinking that I'm some kind of slut that sleeps around and has unprotected sex."

"Olivia I would never think that of you. It was very irresponsible on both our parts. We got caught up in the moment and it just happened. There is nothing we can do to take it back now."

That clearly was not the response Olivia was looking for. She tossed the glass she was drinking from into the sink. The glass shattered and Olivia flinched. "Damn it, Dominic, I do not want to take it back. What just happened was great, but I stopped taking my birth control pills over two months ago. Sometimes I just get myself in these kinds of situations and it's so stupid. My emotions definitely got the best of me this time and that surely has not helped this whole situation."

"Olivia I don't want you to think of us as a situation. We just shared something wonderful and I certainly cannot look at it as a mistake or something we could have avoided. I have true feelings for you and believe me that has never happened to me. I move around so much and I have really tried to keep my distance from relationships. I have seen some of my men try to make a long-distance relationship work and it's such a struggle. I wanted to avoid that if I could and then you came into my life. I have never been so happy to be investigated by the police. And I haven't been the same ever since!"

Olivia wanted to stay mad, but she could not force herself into it. "Dominic I'm sorry I overreacted. This is a lot to take in all at one time. First I pour my heart out to you, which I never do for anyone. Then you ask me to marry you and I say I can't. Then to top it all off we have unprotected sex. My mind is racing around and I need some time to think."

"I know you do Olivia. I'm going to give you all the space and time you need. Well maybe not that long, my leave doesn't last but for so long. I just want to spend it with you. This decision will affect my whole life plan. I have been so dedicated to the Marine Corp for the last sixteen years of my life that I thought that's all I wanted to do. I am seeing things so different now. There's more to life than the Marines, and I have you to thank for changing my outlook. You are so special Olivia and I want to be the man to show you how good things can be. Give it some thought and call me." He handed her a card with the U.S. Marine Corp emblem on it, along with his personal cell phone number on the back.

Olivia took the card and stared as he turned around and walked to the door. "Dominic?"

Her voice stopped him dead in his tracks. Turning to her, "Yes, Olivia."

"Thanks."

Dominic heard the doubt in her voice and crossed back over to where she was standing. "Please don't thank me yet, you act like this will be the last time we see each other. I could absolutely not take that. I want to wake up and see your beautiful face in the mornings. I want to see you smile. Do you realize how gorgeous you are when you smile? I want to be the one to tell you all these things that you don't even know about yourself. I want to enjoy the smell of your perfume. I want to breathe the same air that you do. I just want to be with you, period. So please don't make it seem like this is our first and only time to know each others touch and taste. Just give us a chance, Olivia. I will do anything I can to make you happy."

Dominic came forward and pressed his lips to hers. He wanted to make it a short sweet kiss, but Olivia had other plans. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him with everything she had. There was desperation in her kiss that he had not felt earlier. It was as if this was their last kiss. No matter what he had to do this would not be the last kiss they shared.

Olivia broke the kiss and buried her face in his neck. She held onto him and didn't want to let go. The tears she had been trying to hold back were flowing freely. She had cried so much today she physically hurt, not to mention emotionally.

Dominic pulled away. He knew if he didn't leave now he never would. He wanted to keep holding her, but she needed some space. He framed her face with his large hands and kissed her forehead. He turned to walk away and thought to himself that this seemed so final. He opened the door hoping Olivia would say something to him. Just call my name or ask me to stay. The door closed behind him. Dominic walked to the elevator knowing Olivia would not call him.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Olivia knew she had just let the best thing that had ever happened to her walk out the door. She collapsed on the couch. Her tears had finally stopped. There probably weren't any more tears left. The blanket lying on the back of the couch fell on top of her and she did not have the strength to move it. It covered her face and somehow that made her feel a little better. It was like she could block it out, like she was hiding from everything. That is what she has done for her whole life why stop now. The only thing she never hides from is her job. She meets that head-on, no matter what. Life was easier to hide from because she really had no one. People at work and the victims they help depended on her. She had finally gotten back to normal at work. It had taken a while to stop thinking like a victim. Now she could go to work knowing what to expect. Thank goodness she at least had that.

"Damn it," She breathed.

Why was it so easy to let things slip away even when you wanted them. Was it easier to go through life alone? No one for you to hurt and vice versa. That's what Olivia's life had been like for forty-four years why try to change it now. She had felt so alone growing up, even though, she had her mother. What was wrong with her? Why could she not just accept someone's love and affection? Was she so screwed up that she would die an old lady with no husband or no children? The thoughts racing were making her want to scream.

I have to close my eyes, she thought, this would be easier to handle if she had some sleep. Her mind finally stopped racing and the last thing she remembered before she drifted off to sleep was his face. He looked so hurt when he left. She did not want that to be the way she remembered his handsome face. Finally, she fell asleep and did not move until her phone woke her up.

"Hello?"

"Liv, where you at? The captain is chompin at Elliott's ass. You better get here quick." Fin never even said goodbye he just hung up.

She jumped up off the couch. As she ran to jump in the shower, she glanced at the clock, 9:30. In big red numbers staring at her. Holy crap, she hated to oversleep. It threw the whole day out of whack. She climbed in the shower and turned the water on, it was freezing. She lathered her hair and went through the normal motions of showering. Rinsing off quickly, she jumped out and grabbed a towel. She ran into the bedroom and grabbed a pair of jeans. Slipping them on, she walked back to the bathroom. Glancing in the mirror she noticed something on her shoulder. She turned to the side and saw red bite marks above her shoulder blade. How did that happen without her even remembering. She smiled to herself and grabbed her toothbrush. She hurried through everything else and grabbed her bag and keys. She never even dried her hair. This was gonna go over so well at work.

"Well look what the cat dragged in," Munch shouted. She had barely even made it through the doors when his statement startled her. Why did he have to be such an ass so early in the morning. "Long night Olivia? This doesn't have anything to do with the Marine looking for you yesterday?"

"John mind your own business. What I do in my free time is not your business or anybody else's for that matter. I overslept, nothing more!"

She had not even noticed Elliott had walked in from the locker room. She could feel him staring at her and hated that this was going to be one long-ass day. These men that she loved so much all thought they had the right to pry in her private life. The only one that did not think that way was the captain. Well Fin did not pry either, well not much. She walked over to her desk and sat her bag down. She tried to keep her eyes down and not look at Elliott, but she couldn't. Why was she so worried what he thought of her?

"Long night huh? I guess I would have overslept too. We have something down on Canal, I'll wait in the sedan." Elliott turned to walk away from her, headed towards the elevator.

What the hell has happened to my partnership? Why is Elliott always so cold now? It used to be so easy with each other, now we hardly even talk. She unlocked her locker and stuffed her bag inside.

"Benson, my office now."

Olivia jumped at the anger in the captain's voice. This day just kept getting better. This was definitely not the way she needed to start this day. She put her keys in her desk drawer and walked slowly towards Captain Cragen's office.

"Close the door Olivia."

She could see the anger written all over his face. She hated when she made him mad or disappointed. Captain was the only father figure she had ever had in her life and it made her sad to think he was disappointed in her.

"Olivia what is going on with you? It's not like you to be late. Especially, when you know you were supposed to meet with Carmen."

Oh God, Carmen. She had totally forgotten about the meeting this morning. Carmen was a rape victim that was having a very hard time with going to trial. She saw her attacker and knew exactly who he was but she was also terrified of coming face to face with him again. "Captain I'm..."

"Wait a second and let me finish. Are you having issues with something Olivia? I have never seen you so distracted. Your behavior is erratic, and that is not like you. Elliott told me about yesterday. You are walking a thin line Olivia and I hate to have to tell you that. You are one of the best cops I've ever worked with, and I just want you to get your head on straight. You need to get over to Carmen's before she thinks you guys are not coming."

Olivia turned to walk out of his office but stopped. She turned back to look at the Captain.

"Olivia?" Cragen saw the tears swimming in her eyes. "You know you can come to me with anything."

Olivia stepped back in his office and closed the door. Her whole body was trembling. She could no longer hold the tears back. "Captain I want you to split me and Elliott up, it's just not working anymore."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Captain Cragen stood there staring at one of his best detectives. He could not believe the words coming out of her mouth. "Olivia have you talked to Elliott about this? I'm sure the two of you can work this out. I would hate to lose the best set of partners I've ever had working under me."

"I try to talk to Elliott about things and he's so cold and callous. I do not think it's fair to anyone to keep us together. Maybe I can partner up with Fin for a while and see how that goes."

"Olivia is he not waiting downstairs for you?"

"Yes, but I just can't take it anymore. Elliott acts like he hates me most of the time. He hardly even speaks to me, and when he does it's something so mean and cruel I just don't want to do it anymore."

"You still need to talk to him Olivia. Do not leave your partner of ten years hanging. I will go downstairs and tell him there's something I need to discuss with him and that Fin will ride with you. Get yourself together and grab Fin and get going."

Olivia tried to pull it together before she walked out of the office. It was useless. She headed towards the bathroom.

"Liv you OK?" Fin was looking at her with concern all over his face.

"Yes I'll be OK. Captain wants you to come with me to Carmen's apartment. Just give me a few minutes and we can go."

"OK, Liv. Take all the time you need."

Closing the bathroom door she thought when was the last time Elliott had been so nice and understanding. Fin always put on the tough guy exterior but underneath he was so kind and forgiving. She looked at herself in the mirror and laughed. Boy what a pretty picture she was. Hair a mess, since she never even thought to dry it. Her eyes swollen and puffy. She could not go to Carmen's looking like this. She washed her face and patted her eyes. Reaching inside her pocket she pulled out the band for her hair. Now that it was longer she could pull it up and it made times like this a whole lot easier. She ran her fingers through her bangs and put on some lip gloss. Well that was a little bit better. At least now she would not scare Carmen. Pushing through the bathroom door she heard yelling and realized it was Elliott. She walked faster when she heard Fin's voice join the shouting match.

"Not my fault Liv wants a real partner. She needs to know her partner has her back. You sure haven't done that for her in a long time." Fin stood toe to toe with Elliott and waited for him to say something.

"You son of a bitch. I have always had Liv's back, you were the one at Sealview that left her alone. I knew that was such a bad idea for her to go under, especially without me there."

"Damn man listen to yourself. Do you think you're Superman or something? Have you even been there for her? Have you asked her what happened and if she was OK? Hell no, you're too damn scared of your own emotions to even ask about hers. Be a man, talk to her."

"What goes on between me and Liv is none of your business Fin."

"Man it's everybody's business. You don't care to hide the fact when Olivia does something you don't like you let her know. It doesn't matter if it's just the two of you or a room full of people. She ain't yo wife man. So don't treat her like she is."

Every head in the room turned to look at her. Even Elliott's, he looked very hurt. She had to be indifferent otherwise she would bust out crying again. She walked over to her desk and grabbed her badge. After clipping it to her pants she headed to the elevator. She could feel all the eyes still staring through her, but kept walking.

"Liv I'll be down in a second," Fin called after her.

She never stopped or acknowledged his comment. Thank goodness the elevator doors opened immediately. She kept her head down as the doors closed.

"Thank God."

The tears that had been burning her eyelids flowed down her cheeks. What had she done? She had just asked her Captain to split Elliott and herself up. A ten year partnership about to come to an end and it was her doing. Was it fair to keep going with things the way they were? Why did she feel like such an ass? Get it together, she thought to herself. It was the best decision for everyone. She would make time to talk to Elliott later today. If he even wanted to talk to her. Olivia walked out of the precinct. She headed towards the sedan. Her thoughts were a little sad. She usually rode in this car with Elliott. He was so hurt. Why did they both let it get this bad? A few simple conversations would have helped this whole situation, but they both were so stubborn. She opened the passenger side door and climbed in.

Fin emerged momentarily and headed towards the car. "Damn, that partner of yours is a real pain in the ass. How the hell did you put up with his ass for ten years?"

"Fin let's not discuss this right now. That was one of the hardest things I've had to do. Elliott and I have been through so much together, but things were not working out like they were. I did what I thought I had to do."

"Liv you don't have to explain to me. If you need someone to talk to I will always be here. Let's get to Carmen's."

Olivia reached over to squeeze his hand. "Thanks." That was all she had to say. She knew Fin had her back.

Fin and Olivia sat listening to Carmen talk about her trial. "Olivia I am not ready to see his face again. I have dreams every night about what he did to me and I am so scared."

"Carmen I know you are scared. I want you to think about what he did to you. Do you want him to go free so he can do that to someone else? He will walk if you don't testify. I know you don't want that. This will be one of the hardest things you will ever have to do but you will be so thankful afterwards. You have to be strong, Carmen. I know you are. I will be here for you the whole way. If you need me day or night I will help you."

"All right, Olivia let's do this."

Olivia smiled as she stood up to embrace the other woman. "We will get through this Carmen, I promise."

She started to walk towards the door. Her hand was on the doorknob as Fin's phone rang. She opened the door and he walked out in the hall ahead of her. Olivia turned back to Carmen. Handing her a card. "My cell number is on the back. If you need anything just call."

She closed the door and came face to face with Fin.

"Liv we gotta go, there's been a shooting. It's Elliott. Come on."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Olivia could not make her legs work. She stood there staring at Fin like he had two heads.

"Liv, did you hear me? Come on let's go." Fin came forward and took her elbow in his hand. He knew she was in shock, but they needed to go. He walked them both towards the elevator in Carmen's building. He could feel her shaking. Knowing Olivia she would blame herself for this. If Elliott had been with her he would not have been shot. "He's gonna be OK, Liv."

She moved like a zombie. She let Fin lead her through the lobby and to the car. He opened her door and helped her climb in. He jogged around the front of the car and jumped inside. Turning on the siren he took off.

"He's at Sacred Heart. Captain said he was critical."

"Fin, what happened?"

"It was a robbery gone wrong. He was in the convenience store down the road from the station. He told them to stop and identified himself as a cop. The guy open-fired on Elliott and killed two other people in the store. Crazy bastard shot himself. He was dead on the scene."

Fin stopped talking when he noticed Olivia with her head down. "Please don't let him die without me talking to him. I have to tell him. Please, Lord, don't let him die."

Fin had never heard such anguish in her voice. Even with everything at Sealview and her struggles afterward he still could not remember her sounding like this. Especially asking the Lord for help. "Liv he's a tough SOB, don't give up."

She could no longer hold herself together. She lost control and sobbed uncontrollably. "This is all my fault. If I had not asked the Captain to split us up he would have been with me. What have I done? What about Kathy and the kids? Please don't die Elliott."

Fin did the only thing he could, at the moment, he reached over and took her hand. "Liv this ain't your fault. Don't blame yourself for this. Only the psycho that shot him is to blame. Just hold on we're almost there."

The rest of the ride she just kept her head down and cried. Fin knew she was going to blame herself. This was the first time he had ever seen this strong woman, just crumble. He pulled the car up in front of the ER. The security guard came out and gave him a look. Fin flashed him his badge. The older man nodded him by. Olivia jumped out of the car and took off inside.

She showed the lady behind the desk her badge. "Olivia Benson. My partner Elliott Stabler was brought in. Can you tell me anything about him?"

"Detective your partner has been taken to surgery. I cannot tell you much more than that. His wife has been notified and she should be on her way. We will wait until she gets here before going into details about his condition."

"Oh God. He's dead." Fin stepped up behind her and put his arm around her.

"Liv, don't give up hope. He's strong. If anyone can make it through, it's Elliott." She turned all the way around and buried her face in his shoulder. If he had not been there to support her, she would have ended up on the floor. He was supporting her weight, but he just let her cry. She needed to get it out.

"Liv? Fin? Any word yet? Captain Cragen ran in.

"Not really Captain. All the nurse told Liv was he was in surgery. Said they had called Kathy and she should be here shortly."

"Olivia he's going to be OK. Let's all stay positive and wait to hear from the doctors."

Fin and Captain Cragen led her over to the chairs in the waiting room. They both kept an arm around her. No one spoke. Kathy came through the double doors of the ER carrying Eli.

"Can someone tell me about my husband. Elliott Stabler. He was brought in with a gunshot wound. Please."

The same nurse looked up at Kathy. "Mrs. Stabler your husband is in surgery right now. He has three gunshot wounds. Two were through-n-through. One in the arm and the other in the thigh. The more serious one is lodged under his lung. His lung collapsed and the team had to re-inflate it before going to surgery. If you would like I will show you where to wait."

"Yes, thank you. I need to speak to his Captain first."

Cragen had all ready came forward to speak to her. "Kathy what are they saying?"

Fin and Olivia had moved forward to stand beside the Captain.

"The nurse told me Elliott is in surgery right now. He has three gunshot wounds. Two are through-n-through to the arm and thigh. The other is lodged behind his lung. They had to re-inflate his lung before taking him to surgery. She wants to take me up to the surgery waiting area. You all can go if you want."

Fin put his arm around Olivia's shoulder. He leaned towards her and whispered, "You good?"

The only thing she could do was nod her head. How did it come to this? Why did she have to open her big mouth to the Captain. All this would not be happening if she had just kept her mouth shut. Now her partner was laying in surgery and it was all her fault.

"Mrs. Stabler I can take you upstairs now."

The nurse walked them to the elevator. All four of them walking so slowly as if to put off the inevitable. The nurse held the door for them to get on the elevator. "Mrs. Stabler someone from surgery should be letting you know something very soon. The waiting room is right around the corner. The bathroom is right across the hall and vending machines are beside the lounge. If you need anything my name is Amy and I will be downstairs until eight tonight."

"Thank you Amy. I appreciate your kindness."

The four of them sat in silence. Eli wanted to get down and play, but Kathy did not want to let him go.

"Kathy I can take him out in the hallway. He can walk around a little bit. It's a lot to ask of a little guy when he's used to free reign.

"Thanks, Don."

Captain Cragen picked up the little boy and headed out to the hallway. He had almost made it through the door when he heard Olivia sob.

"Oh God, this is all my fault!"


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

"What do you mean, Olivia, you weren't even there. How could this be your fault?"

Fin moved closer to Olivia, but gave her breathing room. She needed to just talk about this guilt before it consumed her.

"I asked the captain to split us up. We have been struggling with our partnership and our friendship for so long now and I could not go on the way things were. If he had been with me, none of this would have happened."

Cragen walked back into the waiting room holding Eli. "Olivia you cannot blame yourself for this. It happened because some lunatic walked into the store with a gun. Elliott did what he thought he had to. You would have done the same thing yourself. You're cops. That's what you do. Stop blaming yourself Liv. You need to be strong."

Eli wanted to get the attention of everyone so he decided to let out a big squeal. He held his arms out to Olivia wanting her to take him. He just about leaped into her arms. It seemed like he could sense the tension and sadness within Olivia and wanted to help. His little chubby arms wrapped around her neck and he buried his sweet little face in her neck.

"Thanks sweetie I sure needed that." Olivia held onto him as long as he would let her. He smelled so sweet and clean. Her heart broke just a little bit more. What if this little boy had to grow up without his father. She could not take that thought and hugged him tighter. Eli protested the tight squeeze. Olivia reluctantly handed him over to Kathy. What she would give for a sweet little child of her own.

"Olivia you should not blame yourself. You know what Don said is true. It happened and there is nothing we can do about it now. We can pray. I do not blame you for this if that's what you are worried about. You would have done the same."

Olivia broke down again. Fin walked over to the table, where the phone was, and grabbed a handful of kleenex. He handed them to her and stood beside her with his hand on her shoulder. The sobs were heart-breaking. She pulled herself together and reached up to grab Fin's hand.

"Thanks Fin."

A few minutes later a young lady wearing blue scrubs walked into the room. "Is there anyone from the Stabler family here?"

All four of them stopped and stared at the young nurse. Kathy stepped forward. "Yes, I am his wife."

"Mrs. Stabler, your husband is in critical condition. We have him in the recovery room, right now, but he will be taken to ICU momentarily. The location of the bullet made it very difficult to remove. The doctor was able to reach it, but there was some damage to the arteries around his left lung. Right now the doctor wants to keep him on the ventilator until he is stronger to breathe on his own. We will let you know when he is transported upstairs to the ICU."

"Can I see him?"

"It would be best to wait a while. Your husband is a very lucky man. Although he is not out of the woods yet, he is still very lucky. We will be talking to you again shortly. My name is Jordan if you need anything. He told us what your name was. Well not really, he just kept asking for you. So you must be Olivia."

The quietness in the room was deafening. Olivia felt like someone had punched her in the gut. Why had Elliott been asking for her instead of Kathy? Oh Lord.

Captain Cragen decided to step in. "Thanks Jordan for all your help. I am Elliott's Captain and we appreciate all your kindness. We will surely ask for you if we need anything."

The young woman walked off, not knowing what she had just caused.

No one said anything. What could possibly be said after that? Thank goodness Eli lightened the moment by starting a Da, Da,Da mantra. Kathy walked over to pick him up and hugged him tightly. The pain and hurt on her face was evident. What could Olivia say to her? She knew Kathy all ready had issues with her and Elliott. It had been going on for years now, but there was truly nothing to tell. Especially her side. She could not speak for Elliott, but she knew she had never betrayed their marriage.

Olivia realized Fin was still supporting her with both his arms around her. He really was a good man. Kathy had walked out into the hall with Eli, and Olivia knew that was the only reason she found her voice. "I'm OK, Fin. I just have no idea what to say. Kathy hates me now and I have no idea what to do to make it better."

"Liv, I think you have been so consumed with your problems lately that you and Elliott have not been speaking like you should. He has feelings for you Liv. He cannot be honest about it, but I can read right through him."

"Of course he has feelings for me. We have been partners for ten years, you cannot be that close with someone and not develop feelings."

"Liv, I've been partners with John for eight years now, but I certainly don't look at him like Elliott looks at you. He's been such a punk about it when he should of just told you the truth. I think this whole situation could have been avoided if he had just talked to you."

"Fin, honestly, it's not like that with us. I do love Elliott, but it's the kind of love you would have for your brother. At one time, when he separated from Kathy, I thought maybe we could try a relationship but it never happened and I have moved on. He never thought of us in that way."

"You didn't see him when you went undercover. You left that day with Starr and never said a word to any of us. After he pounded the shit out of his locker he sat and cried over you. You may not have those kinds of feelings for him but I don't know if Elliott could say the same thing."

With those words leaving Fin's mouth the nurse walked back in to inform them Elliott was being transported to ICU. " I will show you where to go, but he doesn't need a whole lot of visitors at one time."

They all boarded the elevator behind the young, cheery nurse. "The ICU is very strict about visitors. You all will get a chance to see him, but right now it's best if he has one at a time. Mrs. Stabler you should see him first since he asked for you so many times. He's in room 516 and the rest of you can wait here. Like I said before if you need anything just ask for me."

Jordan walked off headed back towards the elevators. She once again had no idea what a mess she had created.

"Olivia why don't you be the first one in to see him. Since he was asking for you, it's only fair. Just ask him one thing for me. Have I ever been enough for him or has it just been recently that I could not live up to his partner."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Olivia stood there wishing the floor could open up and swallow her. "Kathy I don't think that's the best thing to do. You are his wife and you need to be the first one to see him. I only have one other thing to say and that's how sorry I am. I have no idea what you are feeling right now but I do want you to know that I am truly sorry."

"Why are you sorry Olivia? Did you make him say that? Did you make him call your name as he possibly lay there dying? Or is there something that you need to tell all of us about you and Elliott?"

Olivia could not believe all the things that had happened in the last two days. It was only yesterday that Dominic had come back into her life. It seemed like forever since she had seen him, but it had only been a matter of hours. What was her life coming to? She had sent a wonderful man that had feelings for her away. Now her partner's wife stood here accusing her of having an affair with her husband and she had no idea how to make any of this better.

"Kathy there is nothing to tell. We have been partners for ten years. Elliott is my best friend, well he used to be, and I do love him. How could you be so close to someone and not love them? The love is like that for a brother not a lover. I would never betray your marriage by sleeping with Elliott, I have too much to lose. I know you may not believe me and I know I cannot do anything to change that. I want you to please listen to me, though. I have so much respect for you and your family I could never do anything to hurt any of you. Ever."

Olivia walked past the three of them and headed for the hall.

"Liv where you goin? You can't leave now. Elliott will want to see you."

"Fin, I cannot stay here with Kathy hating me and thinking that I am sleeping with her husband. I can't blame her. Her husband is calling my name when he should be calling hers. I have no idea what she feels like, but I imagine there's a lot of hatred directed at me. Nobody needs that up here right now. Just let me know how he's doing and tell him I will come by later."

"Liv wait up!"

"Oh, and Fin, tell him I am so sorry."

Olivia got on the elevator and refused to meet Fin's eyes. She knew, once again, that she was running away. The doors closed and she just waited. The elevator started to move and still she stood completely still. She had to get out of here. She needed a drink and she was definitely going to get one.

Olivia walked through the lobby remembering the car was in the ER. Well if she took the car how would Fin get back? She could not go back upstairs so she pulled out her cell and sent him a text. She waited a few minutes to make sure he got the message and responded. Her phone finally beeped letting her know she had a message. The only word on the screen was "GO".

Leaving the hospital, she walked to the sedan. Fin had left the keys in the car. He had been in such a panic and that was definitely out of the ordinary for him. Thankfully, not everyone in New York was a thief. She just wanted to go home, but she realized she had some loose ends at work. She headed towards the precinct.

Munch was waiting when she came through the doors. "Olivia, how is Elliott?"

He came forward and hugged her tight. "Look I am sorry for being such an ass this morning. I should have never said that to you and I am very sorry." He held onto her as long as she would let him. He knew Olivia was never one to show a lot of affection, so when she did you took what you could get.

She pulled away from John and told herself not to start crying again. "He's in ICU. The doctor wants to keep him on the ventilator until he's stronger. He was shot three times. Once in the arm that was a through-n-through, same for the thigh. The one he had to be taken to surgery for was in the chest. The bullet was lodged behind his lung. The doctor was able to remove it, but there was some damage to the arteries surrounding the spot. His lung collapsed and they had to re-inflate it. Right now that's all I know."

"So why are you here Olivia? I thought for sure you would stay there. Fin called me and told me to make sure you were OK.. So are you? What's going on Liv?"

"I just don't want to talk about all that right now. We need to just make sure he's OK. If I hear anything I will let you know and if you hear anything let me know. I'm going to clear things from my desk and leave if that's OK with you."

"Sure. Just let me know if I can do anything for you. Oh and Olivia it's not your fault. Please do not blame yourself for all of this happening."

She would not break down again. Walking over to her desk. She sat down to type up the reports the captain had asked her for. She typed so quickly she hoped that it would make sense when the captain read it later. She finished the three she had been working on and printed them out. Taking them into Captain Cragen's office, she laid them on his desk. She saw the paperwork for her request for a new partner laying there. She wanted to grab it and rip it up into a million pieces. Instead she decided to write a note on the sticky pad and attach it to the papers.

Captain, Please wait before you do the final paperwork on this. I need some time to think. Sorry for any trouble I have caused you. Thanks, Olivia

She had to get out of here. This place that she normally loved was literally making her sick right now. Heading back to her desk she remembered her bag in the locker. She unlocked the locker and grabbed her bag. She snatched the keys off her desk. "John I'm gone."

Quickly she walked to the elevator. She did not want to break down again. Especially in front of everyone. The elevator dinged and she practically ran over the person getting off as she was trying to get on.

Olivia looked up and saw Dominic staring down at her.

"Olivia what's wrong?"


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Olivia pulled Dominic into the elevator with her. "I just have to get out of here. Elliott was shot today. He's in the ICU at Sacred Heart. Kathy hates me. I asked the captain to split us up. Elliott was not with me when he got shot. Everything is all my fault." The tears were rolling down her cheeks again, and she knew there was no way to stop them.

Dominic pulled her into his arms. "Olivia slow down. How can this be your fault? I felt something was wrong and I knew I had to come. I'm sorry I had to see you. If you are mad I understand, but now I'm so glad I did come. "

She clung to him like a lifeline and just cried. "Dominic please come home with me. I just can't be by myself right now."

Dominic just held her. He did not even speak on the ride downstairs. He waited for the doors to open and kept his arm around her as he led her through the lobby. Waiting for her to speak first, he hailed a cab. Immediately a cab pulled up to the curb and they climbed in.

"Dominic, there's a liquor store right below my apartment, and I want to run in there. I really don't have anything at my apartment except wine, and this will not be a night for drinking wine. I am not angry with you for coming by. I actually thought about you earlier today and I wanted to talk to you too."

That made Dominic tighten his arm around Olivia. He was so glad that she wanted to talk to him. He had missed her since last night and to know that she was thinking of him today made his heart accelerate.

The cab pulled up in front of Olivia's building. She climbed out first and Dominic handed the driver a few bills.

"Olivia what do you want from the store?"

"Scotch."

"Just head upstairs and I will be back in just a few minutes." He pulled her into his arms before he turned to walk off.

Olivia walked up the front steps of her building and buzzed herself in. She stopped by the mailbox and grabbed the small stack and headed toward the stairs. She felt so exhausted but knew this would be a very long night. She unlocked her door and walked through her kitchen. The mail got dumped on the table, with her bag and her keys. Walking over to the couch, she just collapsed. This day had to end sometime, right? Her thoughts were interrupted by her cell phone.

"Benson."

"Liv, it's Fin. I'm at the hospital and Kathy's gone if you want to come up here. Elliott is doing better and he's been resting a lot this afternoon. The doctor said the ventilator can come out tomorrow if he continues at this pace. You doin OK?"

"I'm OK, Fin. I am just really tired. I don't think that coming up there when Kathy's not there is such a good idea. She all ready thinks I'm screwing her husband. That's great, tell him I will come by and see him tomorrow."

There was a soft knock on her door and she walked over to look through the peephole. It was Dominic. She opened the door and stood back to let him in.

"Liv, you still there?"

"Yes. Sorry"

"Do you want me to tell Elliott what went down today?"

"I don't know, Fin. It's such a damn mess. I have no idea what to do or what to say. Just tell him I'm here for him and I will see him tomorrow."

"You sure, Liv? You know I can do this for you and you won't have to worry about doing it. You have been through enough, Liv. I know you and Elliott have never been involved, and that's Kathy's problem if she can't get past her jealousy. Try to get some sleep tonight and I will see you tomorrow."

"OK, Fin. Thanks for everything. Bye."

Olivia laid her phone on the counter. She wanted to turn it off, but she couldn't knowing Elliott was lying in the hospital. She walked over to Dominic who was pouring her a glass of scotch. "Thanks. I really appreciate you staying with me."

He turned and handed her the glass. "Olivia, where else would I be? If you need me to stay I will, but if you need to be alone I will go."

"No, Dominic. I don't want you to go. Please stay." She took his hand and walked them over to the couch. She downed half the scotch in one big gulp. "I haven't had scotch in so long. Tastes really good." She finished off the rest of the glass and went to stand.

"Here let me get it for you. You just stay there and relax."

It felt good to have someone wait on her. To let her sit here and not worry. She bent over to pull her shoes off. "Dominic, I'm gonna change into my sweats. Hope you don't mind."

"Why would I mind? Go ahead and make yourself comfortable." Yeah, go ahead and just leave the sweats off. That's what I certainly wouldn't mind. Stop man, don't rush her. He walked back into the living room and sat down to wait on her.

Olivia came back into the room and Dominic just stared. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Even baggy sweats could not make her look bad. She had no idea how beautiful she was inside and out.

"Here's your scotch." He handed her the glass and moved over to make room for her on the couch.

Olivia did not want all the space between them. She sat down, right next to him, where their legs were touching. She gulped the scotch. Why was she trying her best to get drunk? Being drunk was the best alternative for her right now. It would numb the pain of today's events and give her the courage to do what she really wanted to do. Jump Dominic's bones.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Olivia sat and stared at this gorgeous man beside her. He was so kind and considerate and she was lucky to even have him in her life. Even if it was just a temporary thing or not she knew she should count herself lucky.

Dominic turned his head and caught Olivia staring at him. "So why are you looking at me like that? Something on my face?"

"Yes. You do have something on your face."

Dominic reached up to touch his face and wipe off whatever was there.

Olivia laughed and grabbed his hand. "I meant you had a look on your face."

"What kind of look, Olivia? I hope it's a happy look because that's exactly how I feel. I am so glad to be sitting here looking at your beautiful face. You just don't know."

"Oh yeah, I'm sure I look beautiful in my old, sloppy sweats. I'm sure my face is getting red and flushed from the scotch. I make a pretty picture right now, don't I?"

"You make a pretty picture all the time, Olivia. It doesn't matter if you are wearing sweats with no makeup on or wearing an evening gown. Your beauty is so much deeper than you think it is. I could sit here all day and just look at you."

Olivia rolled her eyes at him and stood up to walk into the kitchen. She took two ice cubes out of the freezer and put them in her glass. She refilled her glass with scotch and walked back into the living room. Sitting down beside him she said, "You are so funny. You would get really bored just sitting here looking at me."

"How could I ever be bored with you? Why can't you see what I see, Olivia?"

She sat there not knowing what to say. She never looked at herself as anything special. She knew she should, but it was hard to go through life hearing one thing from your own mother and thinking something totally different. Maybe this was what she needed. "I'm sorry, Dominic. I never think of myself as something special. It's hard to go through life believing something about yourself and then just be able to cut off when you're older. I never heard many positive things about myself, growing up. When someone showed me positive attention, I never knew how to take it. Just like now, I guess."

"Well I want you to take it like I mean it. You are an amazing woman, and someone needs to tell you that everyday. The things you do for the victims and the things you do for your co-workers, it's pretty awesome. I would love to have ten just like you in my platoon."

"That would be funny. I'm so great, my partner's wife thinks I'm having an affair with her husband. She is very upset and I have no idea what to do."

"Why does she think that?"

Olivia wanted to be honest with him, but this was not an easy subject to broach. Finishing off her third glass of scotch, she headed to the kitchen for a refill. She got a little dizzy when she stood up this time, so the alcohol was doing what she wanted it to do.

"Olivia, I want you to feel like you can talk to me. Whatever you need to say, is OK. I will not judge you."

She had her scotch and headed back to the couch with Dominic. "I have all ready told you a little of my history with Elliott. Well, honestly, we don't have any kind of history except that we are friends and partners. There has never been anything romantic between us. Or, so I thought. This morning when they were taking him to surgery he kept calling my name and asking for me."

"He asked for you instead of his own wife?"

"Yes, he kept asking for me. When the nurse came out to talk to Kathy, she called her Olivia. I was mortified. I know she was so hurt, but I had no clue what to say to her. I let her know that Elliott and myself have never been involved, but I could tell she thought I was lying. I mean, how could you blame her when her husband is calling another woman's name. I would never want to forgive my husband if he did that to me."

"Olivia, does Elliott have some underlying feelings for you? Did you tell him about wanting to go out when he was split from Kathy? Does he treat you the same as he used to? I know you said you were best friends and very close. So why did you ask your Captain to split you guys up?"

"Well, that's the whole thing. Elliott and I have slowly drifted apart. We used to be very close. I could tell him anything and not worry about his reaction or judging me, but now things are just so crazy. He acts like he doesn't want me around most of the time. I thought it would be better for all of us if we took a break from each other."

"I think Elliott is hiding something from you. He may have feelings for you and doesn't know what to say or do about it. That's probably why things have been so strained between the two of you. He knows he shouldn't have feelings for his partner, but really how can you help who you fall in love with?"

This conversation was really not helping her state of mind. This was her fourth glass of scotch, and it was helping until this talk headed down the path she wasn't ready for. "Dominic, I just don't know what to say about things anymore. I need to see my partner, but I can't have Kathy watching my every move and accusing me of something I didn't do."

"Well, Olivia, I guess the only question I have for you is, do you feel the same way for Elliott as he obviously feels for you?"


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Olivia stared back at Dominic. She could not believe his question. Well, yes, she could. He deserved an answer and she really could not blame him for asking. She took a deep breath and went to stand.

"Olivia, please, do not run away. You have spent so much of your life running away, don't you want to stop running? He took her glass from her and went to the kitchen. He sat the glass down on the counter and opened a cabinet door. "Hey where are your bigger glasses?"

Olivia could not help her chuckle. Did he want it for her or himself? "Cabinet above the dishwasher. The glass I've been using is fine."

"Hell, this one is for me."

Olivia pondered over her answer. She did love Elliott, but it was the kind of love you had for a brother or a father or a best friend. Wasn't it? Oh Lord, she was so unsure of everything floating around in her head.

Dominic walked back into the living room and headed towards her. This time he had two glasses of scotch in his hands. He handed her the smaller glass and kept the big one for himself. Quietly sitting down beside her, he waited for her answer.

She took several gulps from her drink and started slowly. "Dominic, I do love Elliott. He has been the longest relationship I have ever had. He has helped me deal with so much in my life. We have been through so much together. He will always have a place in my heart, no matter what. However, I do not want a romantic relationship with him. He's family to me, and I will always love him."

Dominic realized he had been holding his breath. He leaned forward and released a big sigh. He put his elbows on his knees and hung his head.

Olivia did not know what to say for a few seconds. She wanted to believe that everything was OK, but she knew she had a long road ahead with Kathy. Things would be easier with Dominic on her side, she knew this much. She placed her glass on the end table and put her hand on his back. Such a strong man but a huge contradiction.

Dominic jumped when he felt her hot hand through his shirt. He almost felt like he was going to be sick. How had this woman gotten so under his skin? He had never had feelings like this for anyone. Especially in the short amount of time he had even known her.

Olivia rubbed his back and thought about him. He was a Marine, but he was so sensitive. She had never met a man so sensitive. How could a man that killed and protected the country for a living be so kind and understanding? He was such a contradiction, and she loved that. "Dominic, I'm so glad that you came to the precinct today. You were exactly what I needed."

Dominic sat up straight and looked at her in wonder. "You are amazing. Do you have any clue how special you are?" He pulled her into a tight embrace. He held her as tight as she would let him. He put his face in her neck and inhaled. "Olivia, what kind of perfume do you wear?"

"It's a newer fragrance. Jo Malone: Blue Agava and Cacao. I love the way it blended with my own fragrance. Has a sort of chocolate scent, and I love chocolate. The darker, the better."

"Damn, this stuff makes me crazy. I could smell it all day long. You need to tell me where you got it from, so I can get a bottle to take back with me. You smell so good. It makes me wild. And it definitely turns me on."

She held him tighter and realized this was such a good feeling. It wasn't the scotch talking, it was her conscience telling her to hold onto this good man and don't let him get away. Olivia turned her head and pressed her lips to his cheek.

Dominic turned his face towards her and took her lips passionately. She tasted like scotch and something else, he couldn't quite figure out. He groaned as she pushed her tongue into his mouth. This was exactly what they both needed. He let her take control of this kiss. He did not want her to think he was rushing anything.

Olivia knew he was holding back, and she didn't want him to feel that way. She wanted him to be wild and aggressive like he was last night. She wanted him to put another bite mark on her. Anywhere he wanted to. She pulled back and looked at him. "Dominic why are you holding back from me?"

"I don't want you to think I'm rushing you. If you want us to slow down and take our time with this, then that's what we'll do. I want you to be comfortable and do what you want to do. Even if that means stopping."

Olivia grabbed his face with both hands and slammed her mouth against his. She didn't waste any time shoving her tongue into his mouth. She wanted this man and she certainly did not want to wait. Pulling away from his kiss she whispered, "Dominic I do not want to wait. I want you very much. Let's not waste anymore time."

Dominic lost his gentleness. He wanted her just as much and could no longer hold back. It was his turn to grab her face and slam their mouths together. Kissing her with everything he had. He did not want to ever let her go.

The phone rang and Olivia jumped. She did not want to answer it, she just wanted to stay wrapped in Dominic's arms.

"Go ahead and answer it."

"No, the machine can pick it up."

She pressed their lips back together. Moving on top of him, she began to unbutton his shirt. What an amazing body this Marine had. She pressed her lips to his chest. He smelled good himself. Moving her lips to his pecs, she opened her mouth and ran her tongue down his abs.

The answering machine had gone unnoticed until the beep. There was no sound on the other end and she figured it was a wrong number. Then she heard the low voice, "Olivia I love you, why haven't you been here to see me."

She jerked away from Dominic and stumbled over to the phone. Picking it up as fast as she could. "El, are you there?"

There was no response from the other end. Then there was dial tone. What the hell had just happened? And why did she suddenly feel so light headed?

That was the last thing she remembered thinking as the room began to spin.

"Olivia, holy shit, are you OK?"

Dominic jumped up to catch her before she hit the ground.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

What the hell had just happened? Everything had been going great, now she was passed out in his arms. "Olivia? Are you OK, can you hear me?"

He tightened his arms around her when she gave no response. He bent down and pressed his ear to her lips. She was definitely breathing. He gathered her closer and stroked her face. "Olivia? Honey, can you hear me? Let me know that you hear me. Squeeze my hand."

He waited to see if she would squeeze his hand. It seemed like forever, but she finally squeezed his hand back.

Bending down to kiss her cheek he whispered to her, "Thank God." Keeping her close he stroked her hair. He pressed kisses to her hair and just continued to hold her. This woman, he wanted to make her his. He never wanted to let her go.

Olivia stirred in his arms. She gave a little sigh and settled back into Dominic's arms. "What happened? Did I pass out?"

"Yeah, I think you did. Did you have anything to eat today, Olivia?"

"Um, no actually I haven't. I got up late this morning and didn't have time for breakfast. Then everything happened with Elliott and I never even thought about getting anything."

"I think you had too much to drink on an empty stomach. Almost five glasses of scotch is a lot to handle on a full stomach. Much less, on an empty one."

"I should not have drank so much. I just wanted to forget everything that happened today. I don't usually hide behind the alcohol, but tonight I wanted to make things disappear."

"Olivia, we can't ignore what Elliott just said on your answering machine. I know it was a big shock to you and I really think you need to go talk to him. I will go with you if you want me to. If you don't have any feelings for him, let him know."

Hearing Dominic actually say those words, was such a comfort. She knew she had to do this, and really didn't want to wait. "Are you sure you want to go with me? I have never had a man be so understanding with me. How did I ever get so lucky to have you punch me and knock me against a mirror?"

"Hey, don't forget about sticking your gun to the back of my head. Now I really did feel lucky that day. To have some tall, beautiful cop with her gun stuck to my head. Yeah that was a whole lot of luck. We wouldn't be here having this conversation, though, if it had not of happened. If you want to go to the hospital, I'm ready when you are."

He put his arm around her and pulled her close. Olivia let herself lean into his embrace and whispered, "OK, let's go."

Dominic and Olivia walked into the hospital. He kept his arm wrapped around her, almost afraid that she would bolt at any minute. Heading towards the elevators, Olivia pressed the button for five. The elevator arrived too quickly. She was feeling very nervous. What would she say to him? What would she say to Kathy? Taking a deep breath she stepped off the elevator, and headed towards the nurses station.

"Excuse me, I know it's past visiting hours; but I really need to see Elliott Stabler in room 516."

The nurse looked up at Olivia and must have recognized her from earlier. "Mr. Stabler was moved to a regular room about an hour ago. The doctor said we needed to save these beds for the sick people that needed them. He removed the ventilator this afternoon and Mr. Stabler has been downstairs for a while now."

"OK, that's great. What room is he in?"

"He's in room 332. He's probably resting now, but you can walk down there. I think his wife went home earlier. She was exhausted."

"Thank you very much, I appreciate your information. Good night."

Dominic and Olivia walked back to the elevator. He held onto her hand, just to let her know that he was there. "You OK?"

"Yes, let's just get this done."

The ride down to the third floor was silent. Olivia stepped off first and noticed the room chart on the wall. She headed straight down the hall. Coming to a stop at room 332, she lightly knocked on the door. Waiting for a response, she stood very still and closed her eyes. This was going to be so hard.

"Come in." Finally, came from the other side of the door.

Olivia slowly opened the door and walked in. She turned back to look at Dominic and he gave her a nod. As if to let her know, yeah I'm here. She left the door open and stopped at the foot of his bed. Trying to take him in, all at once, she noticed how tired he looked. "Hey, you OK?"

"How do I look, Liv? Not very good I imagine. Take the way I look and triple it, that's how I feel. Where have you been?"

"Well I had to go back to the precinct and finish up some things."

"Why did you run away, Liv?"

"Has Kathy said anything to you? She was very upset earlier and I wanted to give her some room to be with you."

"Come on, Liv. Fin told me what happened. I was calling your name and not hers. She got pissed and blew up at you. Right?"

"Fin has a big mouth, and I asked him not to do that."

"He was very worried about you Olivia. Said he didn't want you to have to tell me all the details, so he took care of it for you. I guess I can't deny it any longer. I've been busted, and there's no need to try to keep it a secret. I meant what I said on your machine, I do love you."

The words were more shocking in person. She caught her breath and held it. Realizing no man had ever told her those three words.

"Liv can you please say something? I lay my heart out on the line and you're just staring at me."

"I'm sorry. I just realized that I have never heard those words come from a man's mouth. Especially, talking directly to me. It kind of took my breath away. Elliott, I do love you as well."

The room was very quiet after Olivia's words came out. So was Dominic as he walked off towards the elevator.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Dominic felt his heart breaking as he walked towards the elevator. He had not been expecting to hear those words from Olivia. Well, not directed towards Elliott. He really thought they had a chance. He had hoped and prayed they would have a chance. His hopes were crushed. He knew he could make the call to his Captain now. His extended leave had no meaning now. He would call the Captain in a few hours. Dominic hailed a cab and climbed in, thinking about Olivia and what might have been.

"Olivia did you just say what I think you said? You have feelings for me as well."

"Elliott, of course, I do. We have been partners for ten years now. How could I not have feelings for you and love you? Like you have told me before, you are the longest relationship I have ever had."

"I hear a but coming up."

"Elliott, why did you wait so long to tell me? I would have been so happy a few years ago, if you had told me that. I thought you and I could have had something when you and Kathy split, but it never happened. I waited for you to tell me something. Anything. It never came. I was so heart-broken, Elliott. Then you came and told me Kathy was pregnant. It was like a slap in the face. I tried to be happy for you, but I was so let down. I realized right then that I needed to move on. It took me a while, but I think that I finally did."

"You mean the perp? What was it, Dominic?"

Sometimes Olivia just wanted to slap that smirk off his face. He could be so obnoxious sometimes. "Yes it is Dominic, and that was a whole big misunderstanding. He is a very good man and I really believe that he is the right one for me."

"Well I guess I should be happy for you then. Pardon me if I don't jump up and down. I have loved you for a long time now, Liv. How do I turn that off?"

"Elliott, why did you wait? Damn it, things could have turned out so differently. You are not gonna sit there and give me a guilt trip. You should have opened your mouth and told me when you realized you had those kinds of feelings for me."

"I know that now, but I certainly can't change it. Do you think I want to be standing here listening to you talk about the nice man you've found? Or that he's the one for you? Hell no, Liv, I have screwed up so bad and now there's absolutely nothing I can do about it. I'm sure my marriage is over for good, so what do I do now."

Olivia sat down on the end of the bed. She was very careful not to jar his leg. He was all ready in enough pain. She didn't want to hurt him anymore than her words were all ready hurting him. "Elliott, you know that I will always be here for you. I will help you in any way that I can. I had to move on, El. I had waited so long for something to happen and it never did. What was I supposed to do?"

"I know, Liv. Deep down, I know. It's a lot to take in right now, and my heart feels like it's breaking in two. Just knowing that if I had gotten over my stubbornness and came to you and let you know exactly what I was feeling that none of this would even be going on. I am such a jerk."

"Well, I won't argue that one." She smiled at him and put her hand on his leg. "You are a wonderful man, Elliott. You have been a good husband(for the most part), you are a terrific father, and I could never ask for a better partner to have my back."

Olivia did not even realize her last sentence until it was out of her mouth and apparently it had struck a chord with Elliott as well.

"No, Liv, I have not been the partner that you deserve. I was too busy hiding my guilt, over my feelings, that I held back from you. I was mean to you most days and the days I wasn't mean I was a total ass. How can you sit there and defend me?"

"I know, Elliott. We both have not been the best partners over the years. I need to be honest with you about something. I went to the Captain yesterday morning and asked him to split us up."

Elliott stared at her not believing what he just heard. "You did what?"

Olivia held back her tears. She knew this was going to be a hard subject to talk about. "I knew the distance between us was getting harder and harder on us. Well it was getting hard for everyone. When you yelled at me in the car the other morning, I knew we had to do something different."

This was so his fault. "Liv, I am so sorry. I realize now that I have pushed you away so hard when all I wanted to do was pull you closer. How did we ever let it get this bad? Did we get too close? We have chosen each other over the job on more than one occasion . How did we go from there to where we are now?"

"I wish I knew, Elliott. I left a note for Cragen yesterday when I went back to the precinct for him not to fill out any paperwork yet. We have been through so much to just give up on each other. I love you, Elliott, but I don't have the same feelings for you as you do for me. Once upon a time I would have answered differently, but now I have moved on and I want to start a relationship with Dominic."

Elliott felt like he was going to cry. He blinked his eyes over and over trying to will the tears away. "Let's work on this, Liv. I can't lose you completely. It would tear me up to lose you too."

"That will never happen, Elliott. I'm going to head out and let you get some rest. Poor Dominic has been standing out in the hall the whole time. Call me if you need anything and I will come by tomorrow."

She leaned over to give him a gentle hug. He held on longer than he normally would and she let him. He let go and she bent to kiss his cheek. "Night."

"Night, Liv. See you tomorrow."

Olivia walked out feeling so much better. That went so much better than she anticipated. Dominic would be so happy. Looking around for him she could not find him. He must be in the lobby. She got on the elevator with a smile. The doors whooshed open and still she did not see Dominic. What was going on? Where could he be? It only took her a few minutes to realize for some reason he had left, but why...


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Olivia wandered down the street. She knew she should hail a cab, but she just walked instead. What happened with Dominic? Did he hear something that she didn't remember saying? She pulled her cell phone out and hit the last number called. His phone kept ringing, but he never picked it up. She didn't even know where Dominic was staying. How the hell did she let herself get into this position? All she wanted to do was see Dominic now she didn't even know how to find him. Going through everything in her mind, she could not remember what she had said that would make him want to leave.

Dominic sat on the front steps of Olivia's building. He had tried to run away, but just couldn't leave without saying something to her. Where the hell could she be? He had been sitting here for almost an hour. At that moment, someone came out of the building, and Dominic jumped up to catch the door before it closed. He didn't think she had come back before he had gotten back over here. He needed to go upstairs to make sure.

Olivia sat in her apartment with all the lights off. How had this happened? Everything was going great until the hospital trip. She had went over things in her mind, so many times, everything was running together. What had she said to make Dominic run away? She drew a blank. She had gotten everything out in the open with Elliott, and told him that she wanted everything to work out with Dominic. How could that have messed this up?

Dominic walked up to Olivia's door. He wasn't sure if he wanted her to be in there or not. He was dressed to catch his plane. His green uniform ironed to perfection. He raised his hand to knock, and waited for anything.

The knock startled Olivia. Who could be knocking on her door at 6:10 in the morning? She had called in to the Captain to let him know she was taking some time today, but it was even too early for him. She got up and walked over to the door. Looking through the peep-hole, she gasped. It was Dominic. She turned the two locks on her door and jerked it open. "Oh my God, I was so scared you had left."

Olivia wanted to throw her arms around him, but he had on his uniform and she didn't know what to make of it. "Dominic what happened?"

"I want to know if Elliott kisses you the same way I do? Does he turn you on? Do you go wild with him like you did for me?"

Olivia had no idea what to say to that. Where was this coming from? Why did he look so hurt? She was really missing something. "Dominic, what are you talking about? I have no idea how to answer those questions."

Dominic cut off the rest of her statement. He pushed by her and slammed the door. He turned to look at her and lost it. He grabbed her arms and yanked her against him. Slamming his mouth down on hers, he pushed her up against the door. "I want you, Olivia, so much. No one can make you feel the way that I do. I know what I heard at the hospital, but I also know how you react to my touch. It's the same for me."

He did not wait for her to answer. He didn't want to hear her answer. If this was going to be the last time he saw Olivia he would make it count.

His kiss was very dominant. Olivia wrapped her arms around him and held on. She had no idea where this was coming from, but right now she really didn't care. She reached up to grab his hair and he caught both her hands in his. He moved them both to one hand and pressed them above her head on the door. This position forced Olivia to hold still, although she did not want to.

If she did love Elliott, he was definitely giving her something to think about. This passion between them was something he had never felt before, and really hoped she felt the same way. Pulling away from her mouth, he stared down at her. "Olivia, do you want this? If not, tell me now."

"YES!"

That's all he needed to hear. There was no gentleness in his kiss. He nipped her bottom lip as his mouth moved to her neck. Stopping to inhale her scent, he groaned. Damn, this woman brought him to his knees.

Olivia tried to move, but Dominic's hand was still holding both her arms above her head. This position was driving her insane with lust. She wanted her hands free. She pulled as hard as she could, but he did not budge. "Dominic, I want my hands free. Please let them go."

Dominic liked this position and wasn't quite ready to let her go. Instead, he held her tighter and started to unbutton her shirt. That was not an easy task with one hand. He had all the buttons unfastened and realized she was not wearing a bra. Damn, she was so beautiful. He had to let go.

She grabbed his hair in both hands. This is what she wanted. She did like for a man to take control every now and then, but not tonight. She pulled his mouth to hers.

Dominic was not holding back this time. He wanted to show her exactly what she did to him. He pulled the shirt down her arms and tossed it to the floor. Next, he attacked the snap on her jeans. They were a little snug and he had to pull a little harder. "Damn, Olivia." The thong was so small she might as well have left it off. He dropped to his knees and pulled the jeans all the way down. Helping her step out of them, he tossed those over his shoulder.

Olivia had not planned to wear the thong for any special reason, it just happened. Judging from Dominic's reaction, she was very glad she had put it on. He looked a little silly kneeling in front of her. Her body, nearly naked, and he was still fully dressed. All thoughts left as he pressed his mouth to the front of her thong. Olivia wanted his clothes off now.

Dominic groaned as he pressed his lips to the front of her. He could smell her arousal and wanted to taste her. She had other plans.

Her hands pulled his hair. She was letting him know she wanted him up here with her. Dominic stood up and unbuttoned his coat. Draping it across a chair, he started on his shirt buttons.

Olivia made quick work of her thong, and rested back against the door.

Dominic stopped and stared at her. She was so beautiful standing there. He had everything off, except his boxer briefs. He left those on and went to her. He lifted her up against him and carried her to her bedroom. He wanted her to remember this night, just like he would. Dropping her on the bed he covered her body with his.

Olivia sat up to meet his mouth. There was a desperation in Dominic's movements. "Are you OK, Dominic?"

His answer was a grunt as he kept kissing her. He moved down her body kissing every spot he passed. He wanted to memorize everything about her body. Kissing moles, and every little scar he came to. He stopped at her belly and pressed a kiss to her. How he would love to see her pregnant with his child.

Olivia knew where he was headed and just wanted him to be pressed inside her. She grabbed his shoulders and pulled. That caught Dominic off guard and he stopped to look up at her.

"Olivia is something wrong?"

"Yes, I want you inside me right now. I cannot wait any longer."

He finished pulling his briefs down and pressed his mouth to her lips. He pushed inside of her and waited. "Olivia, don't move. I don't have a condom on."

She pushed her hips against him and moaned. It felt so good to have him inside of her. "Dominic, I don't care. I just want you so much."

His control broke and he lost it. Thinking about her body swollen with his baby inside made him lose control. They moved together and it was amazing. He could tell Olivia was very close and tried to slow down. She chose that moment to sink her teeth into his shoulder and that was all he could take.

Olivia met each thrust and she could no longer hold her orgasm off. She gave into the pleasure and could not help the scream ripping from her throat.

Dominic quickly followed her and could not hold back the words he had wanted to say since he laid eyes on her, "Damn, Olivia, I love you."

It took a few moments for the words to settle in, but it made it a whole lot easier to close her eyes. She was so tired. She needed some sleep, and Dominic was here so what better way to end the events of the last few days.

Dominic gathered her close and held onto her. He could tell she was exhausted, so he held her until she fell asleep. He was so confused but he knew what he had to do. Trying to slide out of her bed without waking her, he walked over to his uniform. The letter he had written was still there. He laid it on her nightstand and got dressed as quickly as he could. He had a plane to catch.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Olivia woke up with a start. Looking at the bedside clock, she panicked. It was almost noon and she was still in the bed. Wait, she had called in this morning and asked for the day off. Thank goodness. That would have been two days in a row, going in late! She rolled on her back and stared at the ceiling. Where was Dominic? Maybe in the living room. She smiled as she thought about what had happened a few hours ago. He had said he loved her. She didn't return the words, but somehow she knew she would soon. She had never felt this way for a man. She had never told a man to not use protection. What had she been thinking?

She rolled to the side of the bed and got up. She noticed something on the nightstand that had definitely not been there before. She grabbed it and headed towards the living room. There was no Dominic. The envelope had her name written on it so she pulled it open and started to read.

_Dear Olivia,_

_I wanted to see you before I left, but I didn't know if I could handle it. I will probably end up coming over anyway. I heard what you said to Elliott about loving him too. It broke my heart, but I can't really blame you. You have been through so much with him and it would be hard to not develop feelings for someone you care that much for. I want you to know, I have been blessed to have you in my life. Even though, it was for such a short amount of time I will always treasure it. Please remember the things I said about you. You are such an amazing woman and someone will be so blessed to have you in their life. I have to catch a plane and will be deploying to Afghanistan right away. I will be in touch with you and if you want to get in touch with me I have my card in the envelope too. Please forgive me for running away, but I could not take the pain of losing you. I wish you all the best life has to offer, and I hope you will find the happiness you deserve so much! Olivia, I LOVE YOU. I have never said those words to any female that was not family. I truly mean them. Please take care of yourself. Try not to pull your gun on innocent men anymore. I will remember you forever._

_I LOVE YOU,_

_Dominic_

Olivia did not realize tears were running down her face until a few dropped onto Dominic's letter. How was this happening? He must of heard her first sentence to Elliott and left. She knew something was not right. When he left the hospital last night she knew she had not said anything that would have made him want to run away. Dear Lord what was she going to do now? She knew she loved this man and wanted to have a future with him. She had to get in touch with him, but how?

She could think better now that she had taken a shower and drank a big glass of tea. She pulled Dominic's letter out and read it again. This really sucked. Why did she not tell him this morning that she loved him too? It was on the tip of her tongue, but she was so afraid it did not come out.

She got dressed and dried her hair. She could not sit here dwelling on things. She had to do something. She pulled his card out of the envelope and read it. Where was his base? Cherry Point, North Carolina. That was a long trip to make without knowing any details. She walked over to the desk and opened her laptop. She knew she could find something about Cherry Point on line. She Googled Cherry Point and thousands of matches came up. She surfed through the results and read all the information she could. She found a contact number for the CO, Commanding Officer, on the base. She immediately grabbed her phone and started to dial.

"Cherry Point local information, how may I direct your call?"

"I need to speak with someone that can give me information on officers that are deploying." Olivia hoped she said the right thing. She was so nervous. She did not want to ruin this.

"Ma'am, do you know what unit you need?"

"Yes, it's the 2nd Marine Aircraft Wing. I need to find out about Master Sergeant Dominic Pruitt. Anyone that can help me with that, I would be very grateful."

"Please hold, while I transfer your call."

Olivia listened to the spill on why everyone should join the Marine Corps. It was better than listening to elevator music. The infomercial was interrupted right in the middle.

"This is Captain Bruce Laney of the 2nd Marine Aircraft Wing. How can I help you?"

"Yes, my name is Olivia Benson. I am a detective. Manhattan Special Victims Unit. I am looking for one of your officers. Dominic Pruitt. He left New York early this morning, headed to Cherry Point. I really need to speak with him. This is a true emergency and it is very detrimental that I speak with him."

"Slow down, Ms. Benson. Is this a police matter? Or is this a personal matter?"

"Well, Captain Laney, I cannot lie. This is a personal matter. I do not want Dominic to be deployed without me speaking to him. I will not be able to forgive myself." Olivia usually did not speak so candidly to strangers, but this was too important not to lay her heart out on the line.

"Ma'am, Master Sergeant has not checked in yet. His flight will be arriving momentarily, I can let him know he needs to call you as soon as he arrives. He will be sent back to Camp Lejeune before he is deployed."

"How long will that be?"

"He should be in-country for at least a week before he is deployed to Afghanistan. He will be here over night then on to Camp Lejeune. Lejeune is also in North Carolina. It's a requirement to stay for a week. They have to be checked out and made sure they can deploy safely."

"OK, Captain, let's just say if I left New York right away would I be able to catch up with Dominic? Would it be better to plan on going to Camp Lejeune?"

"Yes Ma'am. Lejeune will be your better bet."

Olivia had all ready grabbed her suitcase out of the closet. Throwing things inside she said, "Thank you so much, Captain. You do not have to tell Dominic I called, I will speak with him myself. You have been such a huge help to me. I greatly appreciate your help."

"I hope you get your guy, Ma'am. Master Sergeant is a good man."

"Thank you, sir. He is a wonderful man!"


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Olivia finished putting everything in her bag. She was excited this was going to turn out better than she ever anticipated. Walking into the bathroom, she gathered her toothbrush, shampoo and everything else she would need for this trip. She needed to tell the super she would be gone for a few days. She quickly walked through her apartment making sure she hadn't forgotten anything. She would head down to the precinct and talk to Captain Cragen.

Olivia headed downstairs. The super walked up and spoke to her. She was a very nice older lady and Olivia really enjoyed speaking with her. "Ms. Seidel, I will be out of town for the next few days. I'm really not sure when I will be back. Maybe, at the longest, a week. If you will hold my mail for me."

"I sure will, honey. Is this business or pleasure?"

Olivia loved to hear the thick southern accent Ms. Seidel spoke with. Smiling she said, "Well I hope it will be for pleasure!" She could feel her face turning red.

"Oh, honey, don't be embarrassed. A little pleasure is a wonderful thing. I will be happy to keep your mail for you. Have a good time, but be careful, darlin." The older lady reached out to give Olivia a hug.

Olivia accepted the hug, thinking what a sweet lady she was. "Thanks, Ms. Seidel. I really appreciate your kindness."

Smiling at the older lady, Olivia hurried out the door. She hailed a cab and it took a few minutes before one finally stopped. She jumped inside and told the cabbie the address. Thank goodness he did not waste anytime getting down the road. The ride to the precinct was short, under normal circumstances she would have walked. He pulled up to the front doors of the precinct. Olivia grabbed a hand full of bills and handed them to the man. "Keep the change."

She dashed inside and took the stairs instead of waiting on the elevator. The precinct was pretty quiet today. She pushed through the double doors and immediately started to look for the Captain.

"Hey, Liv you OK? You look a little frazzled."

She stared back at Fin. What did he mean by that? She was just in a hurry. "I'm looking for Captain, is he here?"

"He's in his office. Have you talked to Elliott?"

"Yes, I have Fin. And thanks for keeping your mouth shut like you said you would."

"Hey, I was just trying to help you. I felt that you had been through enough over the last few days and I didn't want you to have to explain all that to Elliott. Next time I won't do you any favors."

"I'm sorry, Fin. I didn't mean it like that. I do appreciate you trying to help me. I just thought I needed to be the one to tell Elliott. His wife thinks we're having an affair and he called my name instead of hers. Sorry, I was just thinking I needed to be the one to tell him all that."

"I understand, Liv. I just wanted to make it easier on you." Fin reached out and laid his hand on her arm. "I want you to feel like you have someone."

Olivia felt her throat tighten. Fin was such a hard-ass, but he had a good heart. "I know, Fin and I really appreciate you."

Fin was not usually one to hug, but he reached over and grabbed her in a tight embrace. The Captain came out of his office in a hurry. He had a very serious look on his face. "Fin, Liv, we need to get to the hospital right away. Elliott is in emergency surgery right now. He had a blood clot burst behind his lung. The doctor told Kathy it does not look good."

The precinct was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop. Olivia and Fin both stared at the Captain like he was crazy. "Let's move people." The Captain's loud words finally snapped everyone out of their shock.

"Liv, come on, you can ride with me." Fin dashed to his desk and grabbed the keys, lying there.

Olivia followed behind Fin as they ran downstairs. They avoided the elevator. Too many people waiting. Both of them were at a full run by the time they reached the lobby. The sedan was sitting at the curb, and Fin ran around to the driver's side.

Olivia jumped in the passenger side, and Fin took off. He turned the siren and lights on as they passed car after car. She reached over to fasten her seatbelt. "God, Fin, I just talked to him early this morning. This is crazy. One minute everything is fine and now he's in surgery with the doctor saying it doesn't look good."

"Just hold on, Liv, everything will be OK. We should be there in five."

The rest of the ride was quiet. Fin was concentrating on driving and Olivia was saying silent prayers. Fin pulled the car into a space and they both jumped out. Running into the ER entrance they headed for the elevators. They all ready knew what floor surgery was on and where the waiting room was.

"I know this will be weird for you. Kathy will be here and everything. Just know that we all know there's nothing between you and Elliott. Maybe he had a chance to talk it over with her before this happened."

"I hope so, Fin. Elliott is my friend and partner, so I have a right to be here. I just want everything to be OK."

"Liv, you know he's a tough SOB. He'll make it." Once again Fin wrapped his arm around her. The elevator opened and they both jumped off headed right for the surgery waiting room.

The Captain was all ready here. How did he beat them here? He met them at the door. "A nurse just came out and spoke with Kathy. The clot was removed. His blood pressure is stable now and they will let us know shortly, how everything else is."

Olivia felt herself relaxing. She had been so worried and scared, she could finally breathe. "Thank GOD."

Fin and the Captain both looked at her. Olivia was never one to bring God into anything. She had been a little different the last few days. Praying openly and speaking God's name. This was such a different side of Olivia that neither man had ever seen or heard.

"Liv, what were you doing at work anyway? I thought you asked for the day off?"

"I did Captain. I came in to ask for some time off. I need to go to North Carolina."


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

The two men looked at Olivia wondering what could be in North Carolina.

The Captain was the first one to speak. "So may I ask what's in North Carolina? I hope nothing is wrong, Olivia." He knew the concern was showing in his voice, but he did not care. He loved this woman like a daughter.

"No, Captain, nothings wrong. I have a personal matter to take care of. I need to go to Camp Lejeune and see a certain Marine before he deploys."

Fin knew exactly what that meant. She must be seeing Dominic Pruitt. That was great for her. She needed someone in her life. She deserved to have someone special. "Why did he leave, Liv? Do we all ready know the answer to that question?"

Olivia cut her eyes toward Fin. He could be such a smart ass. "Fin, one of these days, I'm really gonna kick your ass! There is a lot to go into about that, but I cannot do that right now. We can have drinks one night and I will tell you all about it. There was definitely a misunderstanding between the two of us. Well, not really, just Dominic. He overheard something and totally took it out of context before he talked to me. You know how you men can be sometimes."

That got a chuckle out of the Captain and Fin.

Captain Cragen smiled at her and said, "So, when do you need your time to start? Did you want it to start right away? Do you need to leave now?"

Olivia looked at the Captain and laughed. He sounded as excited about the latest development as she was. "Yes, Captain, I would like to leave as soon as I can. Dominic will be in North Carolina for at least a few days, possibly a week. I don't want to take any chances. This is very important to me. I need to see him before he goes to Afghanistan."

"Do you love him, Olivia?" The Captain did not know if he stepped over his bounds or not. He tried to look at her face and judge. All he saw was a beautiful woman who looked very happy, considering.

"Captain, I do. I have never felt this way for anyone. I loved my mother, but that was a different kind of love. I really love this man. I feel lost when I am not with him. He is the most kind and understanding person I have ever known. I want a life with him, and I really hope he feels the same way."

Captain Cragen could not help himself, he reached out and grabbed Olivia. He wrapped her in a tight embrace. He had never seen her this happy in the ten years he had known her. She deserved this happiness. Olivia had never known happiness in her forty-four years of being on this earth and it was long overdue. "That's great, Olivia. I am so happy for you honey. I will do the paperwork myself. Don't worry about it. You can leave whenever you need to."

Olivia returned his embrace. She loved this man like a father. Whatever that meant, she did not know what a father's love was like, or the love for a father. She figured it would be like she felt for him. "Thanks, Don, I feel like I need this. I have waited so long for something like this to happen and now that it did, I almost lost my chance. I will not let that happen, no matter what I have to do."

Captain Cragen pulled away and just looked at her. She was glowing, and it was great to see.

Olivia leaned back towards him and kissed his cheek. "You are so special to me, Don, I am so lucky to have you in my life. Thanks for everything you do."

He tried to hide the tears that misted his eyes. He let her go and pulled a handkerchief out of his coat pocket. Blotting his eyes he told her, "You are like a daughter to me, Olivia, and I love you very much too."

The two embraced again, and Olivia looked over his shoulder and saw Kathy. She pulled away and kissed his cheek one more time.

Fin reached towards her and wrapped her in an embrace too. "I'm happy for you, Liv. He's a good man if he can forgive you for holding a gun to his head."

Olivia hugged him tighter. "You make me angry, Fin. If I didn't love you, I would absolutely hurt you."

"Liv, you know I'm just messin with you. I am happy for you as long as this is what you want. I will hunt him down if he hurts you."

"I don't think there's anything to worry about, Fin. I know he loves me. He's all ready said the words to me. I was the idiot who couldn't say them to him. I realized my stupidity this morning. I just have to get to him before it's too late."

"Well, I know from experience when you go on leave, you have to be cleared and debriefed before you ever get deployed again. It's just standard operating procedure. He will be in-country at least a week."

"That's good to know, but I just cannot leave without knowing Elliott is OK. Dominic, does not know. I asked his CO to keep it between us, that I was coming."

Kathy had walked up on the happy scene. She waited until Fin released Olivia and said to her, "I'm glad you found happiness, Olivia. Everybody needs to find that sometime, but what about my happiness and my marriage, that you totally ruined? How can you just walk away knowing what a mess you have made of your partners life?"

Fin and Captain Cragen stared at the two women, wondering what Olivia would say to her. Cragen reached out and touched Olivia's arm.

"You know what, Kathy? I am sick and tired of being blamed for your and Elliott's failed marriage. I have always tried to overlook you and your insecurities, but damn it, I've had enough. I have never had a relationship with Elliott, besides friendship and partnership. You can believe me or not. At this point I don't even care. I have never forced Elliott into feeling something for me. He has been unhappy for a long time and I am very sorry for that, but blaming me is not the answer! You guys were split up and still you get pregnant, what's the deal with that? Did you do that to trap him, or are you just that stupid?"

The words had no sooner left Olivia's mouth when Kathy reached up and slapped her across the face.

Olivia went into attack mode. She grabbed Kathy's arm and had her up against the wall, before she knew it. "I should arrest you for assaulting an officer, you crazy bitch. I know that you are angry, but look past me for once. If I am the reason your marriage failed, I am truly sorry. I never did anything to lead that on. I can forgive you for the things you've said, but if you ever lay a hand on me again, I will not be responsible for my actions!"

The two men helped Kathy as Olivia turned to walk into the waiting room.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

What had just happened? The scene was like something out of a television show. It would have been comical, if they hadn't been standing in the hospital hallway. Captain Cragen hid his smirk as he steadied Kathy. "Are you OK, Kathy?"

"I would tell you to arrest her for assault if I could."

"Well, Kathy, you assaulted Olivia first. She reacted to your outburst. I can't say that I would not have reacted the same way she did."

"Of course, you say that. Everyone always sticks up for poor Olivia. She have a thing for you too? I never thought of her as going for the older men. You never can tell, though."

"Kathy, you are way out of line. Olivia, is one of the best detectives I have ever had the pleasure of working with. She has never had any easy go of things, but you will never see or hear her complain about it. She has tried to pick up the pieces of her life and move on and find happiness. Elliott has never been involved with her other than being her partner for ten years. And her friend, but honestly I have no idea how she has put up with everything you have done and the things you have accused her of. I probably would have had you in cuffs if you had assaulted me. You might want to give Olivia a little bit more credit."

"Why would I want to give Olivia anything?"

"Would you like me to start at the beginning? She has watched your husband's back for ten years. She has protected him when there was no one else. She has helped your kids when they have needed something. The most important thing, she delivered Eli safely. How can you, conveniently, forget all those things?"

"How could my husband ever be partnered with someone that looks like Olivia and nothing ever happen? How stupid do you think I am, Captain? I see how all of you look at Olivia. She loves the attention that you all shower her with. What woman would not love working with all men?"

"Kathy, how much do you know about Olivia's past? You must not know very much about it from the things you are saying. Yes, Olivia, is a beautiful woman, but she does not use her beauty to get places. She works just as hard as any of the men I have. She has never used her appearance to move up the ladder. And she certainly has never slept her way to the top. We probably act a little different since she is the only woman in the Unit, but it's protectiveness. Everyone either looks at her as a sister or a daughter. I don't think anyone looks at her with lust."

Kathy stood there taking in what the Captain was saying. Why was she more worried about this than her husband who just had emergency surgery? She had some serious issues with Olivia. It could be understood. Although, Olivia did not make it a habit to sleep with married men, especially her married partner.

"I understand your concern Captain. Olivia has gone too far this time, she ruined my marriage and now she comes in bragging about her happiness with this other man. How dare she?"

"Kathy, I am very sorry you have that much self esteem problems. Olivia, stood here and told you the truth. Yet, you still accuse her of doing something that she has definitely not done. Your marriage problems cannot be blamed on Olivia. It's nice to sit there and think you can blame someone else for the things you have problems with, but unfortunately, life does not work that way."

"Spare me the pep talk, Captain. I don't want to hear how great Olivia is and how much everyone loves her. She makes me sick. I have nothing more to say to her."

"Well, Kathy, you need to remember that she and Elliott are still partners and he will not like it if you try to make Olivia so uncomfortable that she leaves. She has a right to see him and know that he is OK."

"Maybe she can tell him she has found someone else. That will totally break his heart. He will be so lost without her."

Captain Cragen had no idea Kathy was so damn crazy. No wonder Elliott was so unhappy. To have five children with this woman must have been a chore. Why had Elliott stayed with her so long? "Kathy, you really need some help. If this has been such an issue for you, why did you and Elliott get back together? And, especially to have another child with him. Something is really missing from that equation. Have you talked to Elliott about all this?"

"Of course I have. He defends his precious Olivia, just like you do."

"We defend her because she has not done anything wrong. I am not saying that Olivia is perfect, no one is, but she has not done the things that you keep accusing her of. If Elliott and Olivia both have told you the same thing, why can you not just accept it?"

Obviously, the Captain had struck a nerve. Kathy bowed her head and started to cry. "We tried so hard to make things work, but it's just too... I don't know... What will my life be like without Elliott? We wanted to stay together for the kids sakes, but we are just making everyone miserable. I'm so sorry Captain Cragen, I should not have said those things to you."

"Don't worry about me, Kathy. I do, however, think you owe Olivia an apology. She really is a great person if you give her a chance. If you can get past your insecurities and not judge her on her looks alone, Olivia is one of the best people I have ever known."

"I tried so hard to look for blame everywhere except where the blame really lies. It's hard to know you failed at something. Especially when there are five children to consider."

"I understand, Kathy, but things will be better once you talk things over with Elliott. Apologize to Olivia and talk everything over with Elliott. You will feel a whole lot better."

Kathy nodded and leaned against the wall. "Will you ask Olivia to come out here? I need to speak with her."


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Captain Cragen walked back into the waiting room. Olivia was sitting there talking with Fin. "Liv, Kathy would like to speak with you outside."

"What the hell does she want now? I have nothing to say to her."

"I understand, Liv, but she wants to apologize to you. I had a nice little talk with her and she knows that you and Elliott have not been involved. She's having a very hard time dealing with their marriage being a mess. She just wanted to blame someone else, instead of herself and Elliott."

Olivia could not believe what the Captain was saying. This was a huge turn around. She did not really want to see or speak to Kathy, but she also understood how hard it was admitting you failed at something. She got up and walked out into the hallway and spotted Kathy immediately.

"Kathy, you wanted to speak to me?"

"Yes, Olivia, I just wanted to say how sorry I was for the things I said to you earlier. I was way off base and I am very sorry."

The words seemed to stun Olivia. She wanted to hate this woman, but when she was standing here exposed and apologizing, it was very hard. Olivia willed herself into saying something. "Uh, Kathy, I really don't know what to say. I am really sorry you and El have had so many problems. I wish that things could have turned out differently for you. I know the two of you have really worked hard at keeping your marriage together, but sometimes you can't always win. I accept your apology and I guess I can understand, a little, where you're coming from. I do hope that you will find some kind of happiness."

"I am really sorry, Olivia. I have misjudged you all these years. I don't know you at all, and I'm sorry for that."

"Kathy, just do the right thing this time. You and El need to stay apart. It's the best thing for everyone involved. You both have done everything you can and it's clearly not working. Please just do the right thing for everyone."

"I know, Olivia. I appreciate you being such a good friend and partner to Elliott. He's very lucky to have you in his life. Once again, I am very sorry for the things that I said. It will not happen again."

The situation was awkward. Olivia wondered if Kathy wanted to hug her, so she took the decision out of her hands and pulled Kathy towards her. At first, Kathy resisted but she soon gave in and returned the embrace.

Olivia realized Kathy had started to cry, and she started to pat her back. "Everything will work out, Kathy. I know it will be hard, at first, but it will get easier. You guys can still maintain a relationship. The kids will do OK. They're a lot stronger than you realize."

"How can you stand here and be so nice to me? After all the things I have said and done, but you stand here and encourage me."

Kathy started to cry harder. Olivia just let her get it out. There was nothing else to say that she hadn't all ready. Everything was probably coming down on her all at once and that was hard to deal with. Olivia knew what that felt like.

Kathy loosened her grip from Olivia and stood back. "I'm sorry for falling apart. I appreciate you being so kind to me, even when you shouldn't have."

A nurse in blue scrubs walked up to them. "Mrs. Stabler?"

"Yes, I'm Mrs. Stabler."

"Your husband is out of surgery and in recovery. The clot was completely removed and his vitals are improving. The doctor wants to leave the ventilator in and let his lungs get stronger. Just like the first time. He wants him to get stronger and not have to work so hard to breathe. The ventilator will come out as soon as the doctor sees improvement."

"Thank you."

"You can see him in just a few minutes. He's very weak and when he's stable enough, he will be taken back up to the ICU. He has been through an ordeal the last few days, so he is very out of it. Just give him some time and he will be back to good as new!"

"Thanks for everything. We really appreciate the wonderful care you have provided for Elliott."

"You are very welcome, Mrs. Stabler. Someone will come and let you know as soon as he's ready for visitors. If you need anything just let one of us know. My name is Delaine."

"I will, and thanks again for everything."

The nurse turned and walked away, leaving them all standing in the hall. The news was so much better than anticipated.

Captain Cragen smiled and said, "I think the news is wonderful. Kathy if you need anything just let me know."

Looking Olivia's way he said, "I will get the paperwork through and you can take all the time you need. I will put you down for a week, but if you need more just call me and I can get it cleared for you. Be careful, Liv, and I hope it turns out the way you want it to." He reached over to hug her tight and made his way to the elevator.

"Olivia, if you want to see Elliott first, you can. I understand how important it is for you to get on your way. It's fine with me. I want you to know you are an important part of Elliott's life and I accept that."

"Kathy are you sure?"

"Yes, Olivia, I've never been more sure of anything in my life. You go first."

Olivia stared back at her and realized what a huge step Kathy had just made. That was a step in the right direction. Thank goodness...


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

The nurse from recovery finally came to the waiting room and said they could see Elliott.

Olivia hesitantly walked up to Kathy, "Are you sure you want me to go first?"

"Yes, Olivia, just go."

Kathy turned to walk back into the waiting room.

Olivia could not believe what had just happened. She went from slamming Kathy up against the wall, to hugging her, and now she had got permission to be the first one to see Elliott. What the hell was going on here? She felt like she was in the twilight zone.

The nurse led Olivia back to the recovery room. Elliott was hooked to all kinds of machines, but he had his eyes open. He was staring at the ceiling until he saw her walk up.

Elliott looked towards Olivia and wondered what she was doing here. And how did she get back here first. Where was Kathy? Did Olivia come to tell him she had changed her mind about the things he had told her. Watching her walk up, he just stared. She was so beautiful.

Olivia walked up beside Elliott's bed. He looked so tired. "Hey, El, you look a little worse for wear. I know you can't talk right now, so just listen to what I have to say."

Elliott blinked his eyes and tried to shift in the bed. All the things hooked to him made it impossible to move. He looked up at Olivia and waited for her to speak. She had a strange look on her face and he, for once, could not read her expression.

"El, you know we have been through so much together, right? I know you remember telling me you were the longest relationship I have ever had. At the time, that statement really hurt my feelings, but after thinking on it I realized it was so true. I have never had a male relationship that lasted longer than a few months. I have never known a father's love. Or fussed with a brother or cousin, well not until last year, but I have had you in my life for almost ten years."

Elliott motioned towards the table. He wanted Olivia to hand him the dry-erase board, so he could write something.

"Just give me a minute, El. I need to finish this before I lose my nerve. I have needed to say this for a while, so I need to take advantage of you not being able to talk back. Your wife has a lot of issues going on, and one of the main problems is me. She has such trust issues with you, that she wanted to put most of the blame on me. I know and you know that we have never been involved outside of being partners, but she says there is no way you could be partners with someone that looks like me and not be involved. There is something so wrong with that, Elliott, that I have no idea where to begin."

Elliott closed his eyes. He tried to shut out everything Olivia was saying. He knew that what she was saying was true. Kathy had always had a problem with her. She tried to hide it to begin with, but as the years went by she didn't try so hard anymore. She must have had a talk with her before she came back here.

"She wanted me to come back here and talk to you first. She apologized to me, but not before she slapped me and I slammed her up against the wall." Olivia waited for Elliott's reaction. She walked over to the table and grabbed the dry-erase board for him. She walked back to the bed and handed it to him.

Elliott took the board from her and immediately started to write. The IV's and tubing did not make it very easy for him, but he took his time and turned the board over so she could read it- Why did she slap you?

Olivia thought about her answer carefully. "Hang on, Elliott. I need to work up to that. I have other things to say."

He turned the board back over and wiped it off. Starting to write again, Olivia kept talking.

"Elliott, I have realized the last few months that my life is lacking in so many ways. I am almost 45 years old and I have absolutely nothing to show for it. I have my job, but that's about all. Well, I do have you guys, THANK GOD. I have no husband, no children, and for the most part I am all alone in life. I do not want to go on like this anymore."

Elliott turned the board over to show her- Liv you will never be alone.

"That's just it, El. I know I have you, Fin, John and the Captain, but that's not enough anymore. I want a husband and a family. I want to be happy and I have finally met the man that I want all that with. The problem is he heard our talk the other night and ran away before he could hear everything. He thought I had feelings for you and wanted to be with you. If all this with Kathy had happened years ago, I know that things may have turned out so different. I had feelings for you, Elliott. My feelings got in the way of our jobs sometimes. That was such a mistake and I realized that it would never happen, so I went to Oregon with Starr."

Elliott had something new written down- Why didn't you come to me Olivia?

"I did not want to be the home-wrecker, Elliott. I did not want to ruin your marriage and your family. I have a lot of respect for your whole family, and I did not want to do anything to hurt them. I knew that if I had come to you and poured my heart out, our partnership would have ended. I just felt like it was a one-way thing, so I kept it to myself."

Elliott finished the board and showed it to her- I have loved you for a lot of years and I still do.

"Elliott, I am so sorry. Why did it have to come to this? How can we fix this?"

Olivia stared at the board he had just turned over- Let's try this Liv. Me and you. Let's get married.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

Marriage? Had Elliott not listened to her? She had just said that she found a man to spend her life with and now he's talking marriage. What the fuck? He was still married to Kathy. He must have some really good drugs on board.

"Elliott, I am sorry. This is crazy. You are crazy for writing such a thing. Your wife is waiting to come see you and you are talking marriage with another woman. Does that not seem a little bit crazy? I love you, Elliott, but it's like the love for a brother."

Elliott turned the board over and watched as Olivia read it-My marriage is over, has been for years. Why can't we have a chance?

"Elliott, I came here to tell you that I am going after Dominic. He left before I could talk to him and tell him that I love him. I have never felt this way for anyone, and I know that I need to do something and go after him."

Elliott looked a little more pale then he had when she first came in. He was writing very slowly this time and she waited for him to show her before she spoke again. He finally turned the board over- I wish that we had not been so stupid and hard-headed. This whole situation could have turned out so different. Now I'm going to lose you forever.

"Elliott why would you lose me? I am your partner, and we have been through so much to just walk away. You mean everything to me, how could I just up and leave?"

The silence in the room was almost too much to handle. The only sound was the marker on the board as Elliott wrote something. He looked very sad as he showed her the board- You walked away from me two and a half years ago. You left and never even told me goodbye. I was so worried about you.

"I know, Elliott. I had to leave. The case just came up so fast we had to move when we did. Starr had me infiltrate the group and when we had succeeded, it was time to move. I barely had time to pack a bag. I wanted to talk to you and reassure you that everything was OK, but there just wasn't any time. You don't know how much I have regretted having to leave without telling you, but it gave me the time and distance to get myself together."

Elliott kept writing as she watched- You broke my heart Liv. I was sick without you, and now this is even worse.

Olivia started to cry. "Elliott, I love you, but I am not in love with you. I had to move on. You know you broke my heart too. I can still feel the slap in the face when you came to me and told me Kathy was pregnant again. I had really hoped for a chance for us, but that was the nail in the coffin. I knew after that we never had a chance. It took me a while to get over you, but I had to do it. I knew the man you are would never let you walk away from Kathy after having your baby-AGAIN. It hurt me so bad, but I knew it was for the best."

Elliott looked at her beautiful face- Liv, stop crying. You are too beautiful to waste tears over me.

"Elliott, stop saying things like that. You are such a wonderful man. Why can't you see that? The things you do, I could never tell you how much you mean to the people around you. You are such an asshole sometimes, but most of the time you are wonderful. Your family is so lucky to have you as their father. You mean so much to me too. That's why I had to come to you and tell you my plans."

What plans, Liv?

Elliott watched her closely as she began to tell him. "I am in love with Dominic Pruitt. He has come back into my life and made me realize how much is missing! I cannot let him get away. I am going to North Carolina to find him and tell him that I need him in my life. I have got to do this now, he is being deployed again, and I cannot let him leave without telling him how I feel."

Elliott raised his eyebrows at her and chewed on his lip. He finally finished writing and turned the board around- You are going to Lejeune? He must be something special for you to run after him all the way to North Carolina. I know a good restaurant you can take him to once you talk to him.

Olivia finished reading the last sentence and burst into tears. "He is special, El. I love him so much. I let him leave without even fighting for him. When I realized he was gone and I might not ever see him again, I freaked out. I realized then that I loved him and needed to go after him."

A tear ran down the side of Elliott's face and he turned the board over again- I can see how much you love him. It's written all over your face. I cannot stand between you and the one thing that will make you happy.

Olivia walked over to his bed and wiped the tear from his cheek. Bending over she whispered, "Elliott, I love you. You mean the world to me." She kissed his cheek briefly and stood up beside him. After staring at him she grabbed his hand. "I hope you know that I will always love you. I will never leave you again."

Elliott turned the board over and started to write. His hands were shaking and she could tell he was very tired and needed rest. He finished writing and gazed up at her- What are you waiting on? You need to catch a plane and go get him. The lucky son-of-a-bitch!

That made Olivia smile. She tried to make herself walk away, but she couldn't seem to move her feet. She tightened her hold on his hand, and just enjoyed the moment with him. He really was such a kind and wonderful man. She hadn't even realized she was crying again until he tried to reach up and brush her cheek.

She watched as he turned the board over again. Such strong hands, even when he was lying in a hospital bed. She was so lucky to have him in her life. He was such a wonderful father and friend she was a little sad to finally be closing this chapter in her life. It was the best for everyone.

He finally finished writing and she knew that she would need to leave soon. This was wearing him out, but she needed to get it all out in the open. Liv, I'm letting you go. Not as my partner, but as the love that got away. I love you, but I could not take it if I couldn't see your happiness shining on your face everyday like it is now. I love you enough to let you go. Your happiness means the world to me and I want you to be happy- always. You deserve to be loved and taken care of. I give you my best, Liv!

Olivia could not hold back her emotion. She laid on the side of the bed and hugged him as tight as she could. "Thank you, Elliott. Your blessing means everything to me. I am so lucky to have you in my life. I love you so much!"

The nurse walked in and Olivia stood up. She watched as he turned the board over and wrote something quickly. So why did Kathy slap you?

She threw her head back and laughed. "Way too much drama all ready today. I will tell you all about it when I get back home."

He wrote one last thing- Liv, go get your Marine.

She smiled at him and leaned over to kiss his cheek one last time. "Thanks, El. That's my next stop!"


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

Olivia left Elliott's room and walked back to the waiting room. Everyone was waiting for her to come back, and the Captain was openly staring at her. She did not see Kathy. Munch had joined the wait while she was with Elliott.

"How is he, Liv?" Captain Cragen asked.

"He looks really tired, but the nurse said he was doing very well considering."

Everyone waited for her to say something extra. Fin stared at her and shuffled his feet. Munch looked like he wanted to hug her, and the Captain was frowning.

"Look, everything is OK with us. Captain, please throw away the paperwork for a new partner. I do not need to break in a new one anytime soon. We had a very long talk, and he is happy for me and gave me his blessing. I could not be any happier."

Captain Cragen stepped towards her and gave her a big bear-hug. "I'm so glad, Olivia. I did not want to split the two of you up, but if that's what you both wanted I was going to do it. Thank goodness everything is OK. You two are the best set o f partners I have ever had."

Fin looked hurt. "Hey, I thought that was me and this skinny ass." He tilted his head in John's direction, and Munch laughed.

The mood changed as Kathy walked up to the four of them,

"So, Olivia, did you talk to him? Are things OK with you?"

Olivia stood and stared at the woman who was changing, once again, right in front of her eyes. This was so hard to believe. One minute she and Kathy were having a cat fight, then the next they were talking civilly and Kathy was actually showing concern for her.

"Yes, Kathy, we talked and things are great between us. We got everything out in the open, and we came to an understanding. He wants me to be happy, and gave me his blessing to be with Dominic."

Olivia waited to see how Kathy would handle the new information she had shared with her.

"I think that is good, Olivia. It's never a good thing to have unfinished business. I don't think Elliott could have handled you just leaving without talking to him. He needed some kind of closure, and I'm glad you could give it to him."

This was unbelievable. It took Olivia a few seconds to form words. She felt a little funny. Why did she feel like she was going to be sick?

"Kathy, we all have been through so much over the last few weeks, and we all need a break. I need to get to the airport, and catch a flight to North Carolina. The nurse told me he was doing very well, and his recovery would not come quickly. He is making very good progress."

"Olivia, are you OK?"

"I'm not sure. I feel like I'm going to be sick. I need to find the bathroom."

Olivia turned to head down the hallway, in search of the nearest bathroom. She walked faster because she knew she was going to be sick.

"Kathy where did Olivia go? Did she leave without saying something to us?"

Kathy stared back at Don Cragen and thought maybe she had been so wrong about Olivia for a really long time. "No, Don, she went to the bathroom. She said she felt sick."

"OK, let me go check on her."

Captain Cragen headed towards the bathroom. He hoped Olivia wasn't coming down with something. She really needed to catch the next flight to North Carolina. Walking up to the bathroom door he waited. "Olivia are you OK? Kathy said you weren't feeling very well, I just wanted to check on you and make sure you were doing OK."

Olivia closed her eyes and leaned her head up against the wall. She was trying to remember what she had eaten and she could not remember. The nausea hit her again, and she started taking deep breaths. After losing her stomach contents again, she stood up and walked over to the sink. She bent down to wash her face. She never got sick. And why now? She had to get to Dominic and tell him that she loved him.

"I think I'm OK, Captain. I just think my nerves are catching up with me. These last few days have taken a toll on me. I'll be right out."

"OK, you let me know if you need anything. I'll be in the waiting room with the others."

"Thanks, Captain."

All right, Olivia pull yourself together. She stood in front of the mirror and studied herself. She looked a little thinner, when did that happen? She had been very pre-occupied the last week or so. She knew she had not been eating like she should. She looked different. Something was different. Maybe it was because she was truly happy, and she could not remember ever being truly HAPPY. It felt good, she liked this feeling. Why am I standing here staring at myself? I have to go catch that plane.

Walking out of the bathroom, she reached into her pocket and thankfully she had some gum. Could not go out and speak with everyone with puke breath. They were standing in the waiting room when she walked in. Everyone except Kathy.

"Did they let Kathy go back to see him?"

"Yes, she wanted me to tell you to have a safe trip."

Olivia looked at Captain Cragen and tried to focus on what he was saying. She could not, though, because she had thoughts racing around in her head.

"Liv, you OK?"

Olivia looked up to see Fin staring at her. "Yeah, I'm OK. I'm just thinking about everything that's been going on. These last two weeks have been really crazy. I need to get going and head to the airport. I haven't even checked the flights to see when one leaves."

"All ready taken care of." Captain Cragen informed her. "I called and booked you a flight that leaves in two hours. I didn't know if you had everything together, so I wanted to give you some extra time. It's a one-way ticket, and you decide what the next step is. Just call me and keep me updated. I know this is the right thing for you, Olivia. So, take all the time you need and let us know."

She loved these men. She hugged all three and looked back at the Captain. "Call me, if anything changes with Elliott. Thank you for being so good to me. I love you all."

She turned to walk towards the elevator. Two hours. That gave her plenty of time to run by the drug-store and get a pregnancy test.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

Olivia walked out of the drug-store and hailed a taxi. She could just go ahead and go to the airport, instead of going back to her apartment. All she had to do was pee on a stick anyway. She had bought two different kinds, and intended to use each one. No The apartment was better. She had the extra time. Her bag was all ready packed. The cab pulled up to the curb and she got in. After telling the cabbie her address, she took a minute to think. Was all this going to happen at the same time? Could she do this if Dominic did not want her anymore? Calm down, one step at a time.

The cab pulled up in front of her building and she handed him some bills and thanked him. Thank goodness the building was pretty vacant, she was in a hurry and did not want to be interrupted. She took the stairs, so she would not have to wait on the elevator. Opening her apartment door, she hurried in.

She immediately headed towards the bathroom. Opening both boxes, she read the instructions. This was not so bad. She really had to go so she used the first test and then the second. Replacing the caps, on both tests, she looked at her watch. OK, two minutes. She walked out of the bathroom and headed towards the bedroom. She noticed Dominic's letter on the nightstand and picked it up. She quickly read it and knew what she was doing was the right thing.

"I love this man, and I am going to fight for him." Now she was standing in her bedroom talking to herself. WOW, she really had lost it.

She walked back down the hallway and decided to look for a snack. She really could not remember the last time she had eaten. She opened her pantry door and spotted some Cheetos. She grabbed the whole bag and grabbed a water out of the fridge. Opening the bag, she had a mouth full before she knew it. She ate several hand fulls and glanced at her watch. Holy shit it had been ten minutes. She closed the bag and put it back in the pantry. After washing her hands she headed towards the bathroom. She realized she had been holding her breath and released a huge breath. Closing her eyes she made her way to the sink. Opening them, she looked at herself in the mirror, and then looked down. Both tests had two lines. She glanced at the paper laying beside them and saw what it said. In black and white-PREGNANT. She was going to be sick again. Wait, why was she going to be sick? This is something she has wanted for years. Now she could actually say she was pregnant.

WOW. This was such a wonderful thing. Here she was forty-four years old and looking down at two pregnancy tests telling her she was pregnant. She had waited forever for this moment and now that it was here she felt like she was in shock. Shockingly good, that was a better way to describe it.

She was happy, so happy. She just wanted to tell somebody, but who? Her first thought was to call Elliott, but there had been enough excitement with him today. She needed to save all the enthusiasm for Dominic. How would he react? Hopefully, he would be as excited as she was. This was almost too much to take in. Especially, all at the same time.

Olivia walked over to the door and grabbed her bag. She had a marine to see and a plane to catch.

As she walked down to the lobby, Ms. Seidel spotted her. "Well, honey, I thought you were gone."

"Hello, Ms. Seidel. I had something come up, and it delayed me just a few hours. I actually forgot something and had to head back over here before heading to the airport. I think I'm ready to head out now."

"Honey, you look like you're glowing. I can tell this is going to be a good move for you. I have wanted to see you happy for months now. Such a pretty thing. Could not figure out why someone has not snatched you up yet."

"Thank you, Ms. Seidel. Actually, there is something else going on that has put this smile on my face." She was going to tell her super she was pregnant. She was so excited and happy, she had to tell someone.

"What is it, my dear?"

"Can you keep a secret? Just for a little while."

"Honey, anything you tell me stays between the two of us. I am a very good listener, and you can always trust me. Tell me anything you would like."

Olivia leaned closer to the older lady and said, "I'm pregnant."

"Oh, honey, that's wonderful." Ms. Seidel leaned towards Olivia and enveloped her in a hug.

This was a nice feeling. To be able to share something so special with someone, and actually feel their excitement for you. She had not felt this in a long time. Of course, she had not had many exciting things happen to her either.

"Are you going after the father? Is that what your trip is about?"

Olivia pulled back to look at her. She had never been open with her, but what the hell. "Yes, I am going after the father. He left before we could get things resolved, and I do not want this to end like this. I love him and he needs to know that we are going to have a baby. I hope we can be a family together. I just hope it's not too late."

"My dear, everything will work out. He would have to be blind to look at you and not want to stay." Ms. Seidel pulled her into another hug and patted her on the back.

"I need to be going. I have a plane to catch."

"You go get your man, and don't worry about things here. I will take care of it for you." She leaned over and kissed Olivia on the cheek.

Olivia had a good feeling about things. She squeezed Ms. Seidel's hand and turned towards the door. She really needed to get going. She walked through the front door and hailed the cab that was all ready at the curb. Things were looking up.

"I need to go to the airport," she said, as she climbed in.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Olivia sat in the back seat of the cab and thought about how she would approach Dominic. She didn't think he would be upset. Hopefully, he would be very happy to see her and even happier to hear the news. She closed her eyes and thought about the last few weeks. Lots of things had changed. Some were good and some were bad. She and Dominic were good or at least she thought they were.

"Hey lady, wake up. We're here."

Olivia must have dozed off. The events of the last few weeks were taking their toll on her. She was exhausted. "Sorry about that. Thanks, and here you go." She handed him the bills and stepped out on the curb.

She walked into the airport and took the escalator to the upper level. She had to get to the upper concourse. She glanced at her watch and realized she only had thirty minutes until take off. She found her gate and stepped into the line for baggage check. She only packed a carry-on, so this should not take very long. After being checked herself she sat down and waited to be called.

The voice on the loud speaker chimed in. "Flight 2310 to Jacksonville, North Carolina is now boarding. First class rows A through J."

Olivia glanced down at her ticket. Holy crap, the Captain got her a first class ticket. She headed towards the tarmac. This would be very interesting. She had never flown first class. The attendant scanned her ticket and wished her well.

"Thank you for flying Delta." The words echoed in Olivia's ears as she made her way down the tarmac. This was going to be an experience she would not forget in a very long time.

Olivia walked onto the plane and the flight attendant led her to her seat. She stowed her bag in the over-head compartment and sat down. There was just one seat on the row and it was all hers. She checked her phone because she knew they made you turn them off during take-off.

"Ma'am is there anything I can get for you?"

"Actually, if you have ginger ale that would be great."

"Yes, ma'am I will be right back with your drink."

Olivia thought about seeing Dominic, and she got very excited. Hopefully, he would have the same type of reaction when he saw her.

"Here you go, ma'am. Can I do anything else for you?"

"No, I think I'm OK. I would like to know how long we will be in-flight?"

"About two hours."

"OK, I can get a nap in then."

"Yes ma'am. Would you like a pillow and blanket?"

"That would be nice."

The flight attendant went back up the aisle. She quickly returned with the pillow and blanket. "If you need anything else, just flag me down."

"Thanks so much."

Olivia watched as people filed on. The cop in her made her check out everyone that walked by. She fastened her seatbelt and waited to hear the captain's voice.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. We have turned on the fasten seat belts sign, and would like for you to refrain from using electrical devices. This includes cell phones. We should arrive in Jacksonville, North Carolina in approximately two hours. The temperature is eighty-two degrees and sunny. Thank you and enjoy your flight."

The plane started to move down the runway, and that was the last thing Olivia remembered before she closed her eyes. It only took her a few seconds before exhaustion set in. She needed to sleep.

"Ma'am we are ready to land. You need to wake up."

"Have I been asleep this whole time? I was so exhausted, but I have never fallen asleep on a plane and especially stayed asleep."

"Yes ma'am you were asleep this whole time. I could tell you needed to rest, so I just let you sleep."

"Thanks, I guess I didn't realize how much I needed the rest. Have had so much going on this week that I haven't gotten much sleep. Thanks again."

"Your welcome, just make sure you stay in your seat and stay buckled up."

Olivia could feel the excitement building in her system. She could hardly wait to see Dominic. Hopefully things would work out for the both of them. She did not know what she would do if he did not want a relationship with her. This had never happened to her before and she wanted it to be the last time. She wanted a life with Dominic. She wanted them to be a family.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain. We are approaching Albert J. Ellis airport. We hope you enjoyed your flight and thank you for flying Delta."

Olivia waited patiently as the plane landed. The flight attendant cleared the door and announced it was OK to exit.

"I wish you luck with your future endeavors, and thanks for flying the friendly skies."

Olivia thought she was the nicest flight attendant she had ever flown with. "Thank you, and I did not catch your name."

"It's Hillary. And ma'am I hope you have a wonderful day."

Olivia smiled as she exited the plane. She had caught up on some sleep and now she felt relaxed. She was really excited and could not wait to see him. He was so handsome. She couldn't wait to kiss him, and just wrap her arms around him. She wanted him to hear the words that she so foolishly would not say before. She couldn't wait to tell him she was carrying his child. This was so exciting! She was getting way ahead of herself. Oh well, she had her bag and was ready to face whatever came her way. Now all she needed to do was find out how to get to Camp Lejeune.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

Olivia looked around the airport and spotted a man in uniform. He looked like the perfect person to ask where Camp Lejeune was. She felt a little nervous, now that she was actually a lot closer to seeing Dominic.

"Excuse me, sir, I was wondering if you could tell me how to get to Camp Lejeune."

The man stopped what he was doing and stared back at Olivia. "Yes, ma'am, I can do better than that. I am headed there right now. Would you like to ride with me?"

Olivia studied him. The cop in her made her want to say-Are you crazy, I don't ride with strangers. But he looked like a very trustworthy person. Besides, he was in a uniform, how bad could he be? Don't answer that Olivia, or you will never make it there. "Yes, sir, that would be wonderful."

"I am Major Makenzy." He offered Olivia his hand. She accepted his handshake.

Things were looking up. Everything was falling into place. "Nice to meet you, sir. My name is Olivia Benson. I am a detective for the NYPD. I need to get to Camp Lejeune for personal reasons. I am looking for a certain person. I spoke with Captain Bruce Laney earlier yesterday. He knows that I am coming."

Major Makenzy chuckled. He had a very amused look on his face. "You must be looking for someone in the 2nd Marine Aircraft Wing. I serve in the same unit with Laney. This is a very funny coincidence Ms. Benson."

"Yes sir, it is."

"Do you mind me asking who you are looking for?"

Olivia thought maybe she shouldn't say anymore, but if he was in Dominic's unit, he would find out anyway. "I am looking for Master Sergeant Dominic Pruitt. He was involved in an investigation we had several months back. There is something very important I need to discuss with him."

He must have seen right through her because he chuckled again. "Well, I know Pruitt too. Hell of a soldier. I am ready to head that way if you are."

"I have been waiting my whole life for this. I am so ready."

They headed towards the exit. Olivia could not believe her luck. She had met someone that could take her right to Dominic. Usually things like this did not happen to her. She followed behind the Major. He lad her through a parking lot marked Military Personnel. He finally stopped in front of a green Ford Taurus. He unlocked the doors and Olivia put her bag in the backseat. She climbed into the front with him and waited.

"Are you OK, Ms. Benson?"

"Yes, I am doing great. The events of the last few days are catching up with me, and now that I am actually going to see Dominic it scares me a little. I have never been good at this sort of thing and now that the time is here I really am scared."

"Ms. Benson-

Olivia interrupted his statement, "Please call me Olivia. You are helping me with this and I am really grateful, so please call me Olivia."

"OK, Olivia, why are you scared? Did Pruitt somehow break the law? He hasn't been in-country that long, so I doubt he could be in that kind of trouble."

"No, Dominic, has not broken any laws or gotten himself into trouble. This is a personal matter that needs to be addressed before he deploys again. If he deploys again."

"So, if I am not prying that much, you and Dominic are involved? You don't have to answer that if you don't want to. I should not assume that you want to tell me that kind of information."

"No, Major Makenzy, it's perfectly fine. Yes, Dominic and I were involved. It's a very long story. One that I probably should not get into right now. Like I said, though, he was involved in an investigation with our department and that's how we met. He was deployed right after that and he got back about a month ago and came to New York to try and start a relationship with me."

"Oh, OK, well pardon me for saying this, but any single man who didn't find you worth seeking out has to be deaf, dumb or blind. Maybe all three! I can see that this means a lot to you, and I really think things will be fine with Dominic."

Were all military men like this? Blunt and take no prisoners attitude. She liked it, reminded her a lot of Elliott. He had softened his Marine demeanor over the years, but she knew it was still there. All Marines had to be cut from the same cloth.

"Thanks, Major Makenzy."

"Hey, Olivia, you can call me John. It's only fair. Lejeune is not very far away. There's a little all-night store a few miles down the road, if you want to stop and get something. The chow at Camp is not the greatest in the world. I would recommend getting something now."

"That's OK, John, I'm really not that hungry right now. If you want to stop that's fine with me. I'm with you, so you do whatever you need to. If you're hungry, go ahead."

"No, that's OK, I had a snack on the plane. I will be good to go for a few hours."

"I really appreciate this, John. You just kind of fell in my lap, so to speak, I was standing there wondering how I would get here and there you were. I am so grateful to you. I just want things to go this smooth with Dominic. I hope it's not too late."

"Olivia, I don't think Dominic would send you away after you did this for him. Everything will work out. Just have some faith."

Olivia watched the scenery as they drove. It was beautiful. Lots of land and trees. Something you didn't get used to seeing in New York. She was interrupted as her thoughts changed. Signs for Camp Lejeune were everywhere. They made a turn and she saw the base come into view.

"OK, Olivia, it's show time."


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

Olivia held her breath as John pulled his car into the lot. It surely was show time. She was finally here, and would be face-to-face with Dominic in just a few minutes. John got out of the car, but she just sat there thinking. What if he doesn't want to see me? What if he doesn't want a relationship and to start a family together? What will I do then? Her thoughts were interrupted as John tapped on the window.

"Hey, you OK? You gonna come with me or stay in there?"

Olivia smiled at him and reached for the door handle. "Yes, I'm coming. I've come too far to chicken out now." She closed the front door and opened the back. Grabbing her bag she followed behind John.

The walk to the hanger was very interesting. She was getting all sorts of looks. Everyone they passed saluted the Major, then cut their eyes at her. Most of the soldiers they passed addressed her as "Ma'am" right after they saluted John. The stares were almost funny, if she had not been so nervous she probably would have laughed.

John walked to the front of the hanger. He pulled the big door open and walked inside. There was activity everywhere. It almost reminded her of an ant farm. They were scurrying around, trying to get everything accomplished. He headed towards the back of the hanger. She assumed it was his office.

"Olivia, you can join me in here. I will send for Dominic. You can use my office for some privacy."

"We can go somewhere else, John. I'm sure you have a lot to get done. I'll wait for Dominic, then he can take us somewhere to talk. You need your office."

"Olivia, don't be silly. It's fine. Give me a second to find Dominic."

She watched as he walked out of the office and stopped the first man he came to. The officer saluted him and shook his head. Clearly John was asking where Dominic was. After a few more moments he walked back into the office.

"Dominic is finished with his training for the day. Corporal told me he was in the John, taking a shower. He told me, he would inform him that I needed to see him, right away."

"Thanks again, John. You have been such a big help to me and I really appreciate everything."

"You are very welcome,Olivia. Sit down and relax for a minute. Dominic will be here shortly. If you don't mind, I have a few things I need to attend to out there. If you will excuse me. Use the office as long as you need to." He walked over to the big window, in his office, and pulled the blinds. He did the same for the one on the door. "You never know when you might need a whole lot of privacy!"

Olivia smiled at him and sat down. She pulled her cell phone out and checked to see if she had a signal. She wanted to call the Captain and let him know that she was here safely. She did have a signal so she immediately started to dial. He answered on the second ring.

"Cragen."

"Hey, Cap'n, how are you doing?"

"I'm doing well, Olivia. What about you?"

"I'm doing OK. I just wanted to let you know that I am here safely and I am waiting to speak with Dominic. The flight was fine. Thank you for first class, I have never flown that way before. I actually slept the whole flight. I was so exhausted, it finally caught up with me."

"I'm glad to hear that, Liv. Are you nervous?"

"Why would you ask that, Cap'n? Am I rambling? I bet that's what I'm doing. And to answer your question, yes I am very nervous."

"I know you are, I can tell. Take a deep breath. Everything will be just fine."

"I sure hope so. How's Elliott?"

"He's doing better, all ready. The doctor said he would take him off the ventilator in the morning. He is determined to walk out of there in just a few days. He will probably be back at work before you will."

That got a laugh out of her. He was probably right. "Tell him I will call his room tomorrow and check on him. I'm so thankful that he is going to make a full recovery. We can pick up exactly where we left off. Just as soon as I get this taken care of."

"I know you will. You just think about yourself and making you happy. That's what we all care about and want to see. I will tell Elliott tomorrow and you just take care of you, for a change. Good luck, Olivia. And don't forget that we all love you and are rooting for you."

"Thanks Cap'n. I will talk to you later. Just as soon as I know what's going on, I will call and let you know. I love you all very much too."

"Take care, Olivia. Bye."

"Bye."

She disconnected the phone and put it back in her pocket. Well, that was great news about Elliott. She knew he would be OK. He was too damn stubborn to die. She was so very thankful that he was OK. That was one less thing to worry about. She started to pace back and forth, in front of the door, and when there was a knock she jumped. She took a deep breath and walked over to open the door. It was not Dominic.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry. I am looking for Major Makenzy. Would you happen to know where he is?"

"No, I am very sorry, I do not know where he is. I am waiting for Master Sergeant Pruitt. Have you seen him?"

"Yes, ma'am, He was changing back into his cami's."

"OK, thank you. Sorry, I couldn't be of more assistance."

"That's OK, ma'am. See you later."

She started back with the pacing. Oh, where is he? I have to see him before I lose my nerve. She was so tuned out that she didn't even hear the knock on the door all she heard was-

"OLIVIA?"


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

Oh God, there he was. He looked so good. Did he want to just run and tackle her, like she did him? She really missed him. She didn't know how much until now. "Hello, Dominic."

Dominic just stared. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. It had only been two days since he had seen her last, but it felt like ages. "Hi, Olivia."

They weren't getting anywhere like this. Someone had to make the first move, but Olivia was scared to speak. This was not like her. She was afraid of rejection, especially from Dominic.

"Olivia, is everything OK? You seem to be troubled. Is everything all right?"

She stood there staring at this beautiful man, and fought back the tears. He was so kind. She knew he had to be hurt. Even though, what he heard was not what he thought it was. She knew that it still had to hurt him. She knew she was going to lose it.

Dominic wanted to help her, but she looked like she was either fixing to burst into tears or run. He waited for her to give him some sort of sign, and she did. She lost the battle with herself and burst into tears. He practically ran to her and held her against him. "God, I have missed you so much. Please, don't cry."

Olivia let herself rest against his chest. She needed to feel this comfort and strength. He just gave himself to her, without even asking any questions or making accusations. He just did it, and she loved that. She wondered how long she could just stand here with him holding her. She didn't want to ruin this wonderful moment just yet. She knew she had to step up to the plate, but not yet.

Dominic could not believe his eyes when he had walked into the office. He thought he was imagining her standing there looking so beautiful, but then he caught her fragrance and knew that she was so real. Something seemed different about her and he could not wait to hear what it was.

Olivia relaxed even more into Dominics embrace. If there were no interruptions, she knew she could stand here all day with him holding her. She needed this comfort with him and she knew that he would accept what she was going to tell him.

Dominic gave her time and waited for her to say something. Even if she didn't say anything, he could stand here like this with her all day. He hoped this was a good visit, because he wanted them to be together. It had to be something big for her to come all the way from New York. He wanted her to take her time and let him know, he wasn't going anywhere.

Olivia started to pull away and Dominic wasn't ready yet. He held her tighter.

"I have missed you the last two days. I want to stand here and hold you for as long as I can. I know this has to be serious or you wouldn't have made the trip to North Carolina. So, let me have this."

Olivia remained quiet and let him hold her. She had a very good feeling about this now. He made it sound like he wanted them to be together too, so this may be a whole lot easier than she anticipated. They stood there together for a few more minutes and Dominic pulled back this time!

"OK, Olivia. I'm ready for whatever you need to say."

"Don't look like you're afraid of what I'm going to say. I am here for the both of us."

"OK, I'm sorry. Go ahead."

Olivia watched his face as she started. "I really wish that you had not left the hospital the other morning. I know that you heard us talking, but you obviously only heard the first part of the conversation. I do love Elliott, but it's not that kind of love. It's brotherly or best friend, not romantic."

"Look, Olivia, I know that I should not have run away. I was so wrong to do that. I am a Marine, I don't run. I did hear you tell Elliott that you loved him, but like you said that must have been all I heard and it was. I heard you say those words to him, and I felt like someone had knocked me over. I was so hurt all I could do was run."

"I wish we had talked first. Right after I told Elliott that, I was telling him that I had finally met someone that was right and I thought it could work out. I had to break his heart and then I come outside and have mine broken too. It was not a very good feeling."

"I know, Olivia, and believe me if I could take it back, I would. I am so sorry, that I hurt you.

The response Dominic gave her was not what she had expected. She knew he would be sorry for the way things had turned out in New York. His response now was giving her the hope that everything was going to work out and be OK. She wanted to feel his arms around her again, so she stepped forward and threw her arms around him.

Dominic held onto her and breathed her in. Damn, this woman went straight to his head. "I'm so sorry, Olivia. I never wanted to hurt you. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, and have babies with you. I knew you were perfect for me and then I messed it up. I had the perfect woman right in front of me and I ran. How stupid can one man be?"

"Why are you speaking in the past tense? I came down here for you. Do you not see me standing right here in front of you?"

"So, Olivia, what are you saying?"


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

Olivia looked back at him and smiled. "I'm saying that I think we have a chance. You and me, we are good together. We make sense, and believe me, I have never said that about a man that I was seeing. You are different."

Dominics mouth swooped down on hers. She had not been expecting this from him. He was calm and listening to her, then all of a sudden he was grabbing handfuls of her hair and forcing her mouth to open under his.

Olivia felt like it had been so long since he had kissed her. It had only been two days, but it surely felt longer. She responded immediately. Feeling the tension turn to passion was a wonderful thing. She needed this and wanted this.

She pulled her mouth back to tell him. "Dominic, I love you."

Dominic stared back at her, like he could not believe what she had just said. He started to smile and told her the words he had all ready said to her that last morning, "I love you too, Olivia."

Olivia was the one to kiss him this time. Her heart was full of love for him, and she needed to feel this connection. She had been so afraid that they were over, and she would never see him again. This was the best way for this to end. Well, no, she did have one more thing to tell him, but she wanted to kiss him more first.

Dominic was so grateful she had come after him. He loved this woman more than anything. He had missed her smell. He broke away from her mouth and trailed his lips down the side of her neck. He pressed them there and just breathed her in. Damn, he wanted to smell this fragrance for the rest of his life.

Olivia arched her neck, so Dominic could get closer. She had dabbed a little extra perfume on that morning, just for him. She had never really thought of her perfume as seductive, but to hear Dominic talk about it, it was the most intoxicating smell on earth. She grabbed a handful of his green t-shirt and moved her free hand down to his waistband. He felt so good and solid. She loved that.

Dominic wondered what would happen if someone walked in on them, but didn't really care. He wanted to lay her across the desk and have his way with her. Dominic loosened his grip on her hair and moved one hand down the front of her shirt. He absolutely loved her curves. He pressed his palm to her stomach and she drew in a deep breath.

Olivia could not help her response when he touched her stomach. She had a thought of him pressing his hand to her stomach when it was full with his child. She needed to tell him. She pulled her mouth away, reluctantly, and whispered, "Dominic, there's one more thing."

Dominic stared back at her and had no idea what to expect this time. How could she top those three words she had said to him? Framing her face with both his hands, he asked, "Olivia what is it?"

Olivia was about to say the most frightening and exciting thing she had ever said to anyone. She took a deep breath and jumped. "Dominic, I'm pregnant. You and I are going to be parents."

She waited for his response. At first, she could not read his expression. He stood so still and had his head down where she could not even see his face. "Dominic, did you hear what I said? Please say something."

"I quit."

That was not really what she was expecting. She put her hand under his chin and lifted his face where she could see him. "Dominic, what do you mean? Please, tell me what those words mean. I am really confused right now."

Dominic could not hold back the tears that threatened to fall. This was the best news he could have ever hoped for. "It means, I quit the Corps today."

"Why on earth would you do that?"

"I had all ready made my mind up that I was coming after you. I wanted you and I to be a family. I have never met someone that made me want to walk away from the Marine Corp. This has been my life since I graduated from high school, but now I know there's more out there. You are all I want and need, Olivia."

"Dominic, you cannot walk away from your life, even for me."

"Olivia, don't you see? If I can't have you in my life, then I have nothing. You mean everything to me. I want to share everything with you. You are my world."

Olivia could not believe this turn of events. She had never anticipated things going this way. She was so excited. She wanted to talk about the baby, but she also wanted to kiss him. So, that's what she did. She pulled his face back down to hers and immediately opened her mouth.

Dominic took advantage of her mouth being open and pressed his tongue inside. He loved the little moans and noises she made. He ran both his hands down her back and pulled her hips right against his. He couldn't wait to get her alone and all to himself. This really was not the place, although, he wanted her right now, very much. He pulled back from her mouth, but kept his hands on her hips. Staring down at her, he realized she had something else on her mind. "Olivia, is there something else you need to tell me?"

"No, I think that just about does it. I love you and I'm pregnant, seems to be it for the day. Now we just need to talk about what's next."

"I just want to be with you. Where ever that is, you tell me. I would follow you to the ends of the earth. I will be happy as long as I'm with you. We can go back to New York, if that's what you want. I don't expect you to walk away from your job. I can be a recruiter. They actually have an opening for a recruiter in the Bronx. I had all ready checked that out. I turned in my resignation today, from active duty. And then here you come. It was an answer to my prayers. Then I find out you love me and are pregnant with my child. How can anyone ever top that?"

"I can't believe you want to walk away from everything you have worked seventeen years for, to get. It just blows my mind."

"Olivia, I'm not walking away from anything. I am walking right to you. I love you so much, and I have known that I wanted to spend my life with you. It makes perfect sense to me. I cannot think of walking away from you and deploying. It would kill me to leave you. Now, more than ever. I have to be with you, to keep you both safe. I wouldn't want it any other way."

"Dominic, I am so lucky and blessed to have you in my life. I want to be with you forever. I want us to be a happy family, but what I really want is to be alone with you."

She leaned up and kissed his cheek. He was up to something, she could tell.

Dominic dropped down to his knee and stared up at her. She was definitely not expecting this. "Olivia, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife? I have your ring in my room. This was my plan after all my paperwork went through, but you beat me to it. I definitely need to make an honest woman out of you now."

"YES, YES, YES!"

She was so excited to be here, hearing these words. She never anticipated things going this well. She needed to pray more often. She dropped down to her knees and threw her arms around his neck. "Dominic, I love you. We will make things right. No matter where we are. Let's get out of here."

"My pleasure, Olivia. I love you too, baby!"

Epilogue: Nine Months Later-

Dominic and Olivia welcomed a brand new bundle of joy into the world. Laney Elizabeth Pruitt. Weighing 8lbs and 10 ozs. All three lived HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!!

Thanks to everyone who read this from the beginning. You all know who you are: Amanda, Michelle, Lorielle, and Sam- thanks so much for making my first story such a Success! I really appreciate it and hopefully I will have something new going on soon! Thanks again guys, it's been great!!!


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